


Underneath the Tree

by alrightginger, womeninthesequel



Series: Ginger in the Sequel [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Christmas, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Meet-Cute, Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27818665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alrightginger/pseuds/alrightginger, https://archiveofourown.org/users/womeninthesequel/pseuds/womeninthesequel
Summary: James is having a hard time adjusting to life as the sole Potter after his parents' passing, especially so close to Christmas time. When Remus offers him a job in his coffee shop for the season, he finds some reasons to enjoy this time of year. Like making hot chocolate for his new bakery friends from next door and exchanging notes with someone there named Doe.
Relationships: Benjy Fenwick/Mary Macdonald, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Remus Lupin & James Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Ginger in the Sequel [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712458
Comments: 134
Kudos: 210





	1. Cold and Grey

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise! Merry Christmas from Sam and Marieka!

_Christmas was cold and grey. Another holiday, alone to celebrate._

\--

James has never really had an actual job before. 

There had never really been a need for one in the past. His parents insisted that he need not distract himself with working long hours when he should be focusing on school and sports instead. They made more than enough to provide for him comfortably where he didn’t feel like a burden and didn’t question them. 

He had never been lacking for anything, and neither had his parents for that matter. He received a weekly allowance and that was that.

He realizes that it makes him seem a bit spoiled to other people. How it makes him miss out on the grueling experiences that only a college part time job can provide.

But his parents had insisted. 

They were adamant, and he always went along with what his parents wanted. 

Even after their unexpected passing a few months apart from each other, his parents left him with enough money that he didn’t need to work. They had left him more than comfortable with his inheritance.

They had always been preparing for this, he realizes. For a world he would have to face without them.

But it didn’t cross his mind that such a world could exist. At least, not as young as he is.

For the first few months after, when he had been trying to figure out how to be the sole Potter in a world where he always had his parents, he hadn’t even considered looking for a job. There were too many other things for him to focus on, and he didn’t have bills piling up or anything go the sort.

Having to plan a funeral for his father alone was enough to block out the real world for a while. At least when his mother passed, Fleamont had been around to help him with all the little details of funeral planning. 

But when Fleamont passed (of what James assumes now is a broken heart from missing James’ mother), James had been left to deal with it all alone. 

He had to deal with listening to the contents of his father’s will being distributed like they were merely objects. Like everything he owned was just simple things with no memory attached to them at all. He had to come home to a large house that he inherited and now lived in alone at the age of twenty-one.

But the hardest thing he’s had to deal with yet is the fact that Christmas is fast approaching. For the first time in his life, James is going to be alone on Christmas. 

The thought is depressing. Maddening. He doesn't even understand how it can be possible. 

His parents had been so vibrant and seemingly large with just their presences. How is it that the world keeps spinning and things like Christmas keep happening without his parents around? How is it that he hadn’t realized how very alone he would be without them? 

He always assumed they would be around forever. 

_“You need to get a job,”_ Remus told him a week ago when he came over to find James wallowing. _“It’ll get you out of the house. Get your mind off of things for a while. You’d be around other people too.”_

James had snorted into his drink. _“Who would ever want to hire someone like me? I’ve never even had a real job before.”_

 _“I’ll hire you,”_ Remus said. _“At the coffee shop. We need seasonal help anyway. It’ll be good for you.”_

James feels like a posh, spoiled prat for curling his nose up at the thought of working during the Christmas season, but Remus had made a point. 

He doesn’t want to be alone. 

Especially not at Christmas. 

Which is how he finds himself dressed as a barista for the first time in his life, feeling every bit like he’s playing a character instead of going to the actual first day of his actual first ever job. 

_The Book Nook_ is an older, shabbier looking storefront with a coffee shop inside, nestled between a bakery and clothing boutique. James has been here many times before to pester Remus during his working hours and to browse for books while sipping on one of Remus’ creations.

Today, he opens the door as an employee. A seasonal employee, but still. 

Remus looks up when he hears the bell ring from his place in the corner. “Hey,” he says, looking generally pleased and a bit shocked. Maybe he hadn’t expected James to actually show up. “You made it. Five minutes early too.”

“Gotta impress the boss,” James says, saluting Remus as he steps behind the counter. 

"You pass. Your first impression is good," Remus says. "Do you want me to show you how to use the grinder and espresso maker?"

James flinches at the term _grinder,_ and wonders not for the first time why he took a job working with a drink he cannot stand. Bean water, coffee is. Disgusting. Even the smell gives him a headache. Working here is going to be like having a permanent migraine. 

“Okay,” James says, trying to keep his tone cheerful. Christmassy, even. 

James tries his best to pay attention to everything Remus tells him and even attempts to make a carbon copy of whatever it is Remus has just made, but it comes out even worse than he could have ever imagined. 

He’s pretty sure it’s _alive,_ the way it’s boiling angrily at him.

“Maybe we will keep you on the register,” Remus says, rubbing the back of his neck. “At least for now.”

“I can make hot chocolate,” James says, feeling down on himself. “I know how to do that.”

"Hot chocolate is perfect for this time of year," Remus says generously. He not so subtly tips James' coffee concoction into the sink and runs the water. "There's actually some candy in the supply room. Maybe you can come up with some cocoa flavors to put on the sign?"

“Sure,” James agrees, moving to do as he’s told. 

He wonders if this is going to end up like Bio, where he’s extremely rubbish at it and usually manages to do something so impossibly bad that people can’t believe it. Like when he nearly blew up his lab station. 

In _Bio._

Not even fucking Chemistry. 

He shakes his head, willing himself to believe that his chances of blowing up Remus’ coffee shop are extremely low, and begins to work on the sign. He’s in the middle of drawing a terrible version of a hot chocolate cup with a candy cane sticking out when a pleasant smell from next door hits him. 

It takes him a moment to realize what it is. When he does, he has a horrible case of deja vu where he’s transported back into his mother’s kitchen at six years old, making sugar cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve. 

A wave of homesickness hits him. He feels a terrible mixture of tears and the need to vomit.

He hadn’t even considered the fact that this would be his first year not making sugar cookies for Christmas with his family. It’s a tradition that he’s left alone with now, and he’s not sure if he wants it. 

But he sniffs the air and decides that maybe it would hurt less if he doesn't actually make the cookies himself. 

“The bakery next door is baking sugar cookies,” James tells Remus as soon as he opens the door to go back into the shop. 

"Oh."

Remus is a good friend, one of James' best friends, but this isn't the first time he's looked at a total loss. Since getting the news and helping with plans and everything in between, he's tried. He has let James call him in the middle of the night and slept over at his house when the emptiness echoed too much. He's sat through difficult conversations and spent hours researching terms to explain confusing legal language.

But he still can't make it _better_.

That, more than anything, is probably what makes him look like this when he doesn't know what to say. Remus likes to find an answer and solve a problem.

This - everything that’s happened in the last year - doesn't have a solution.

"Come inside," Remus says. "I'll open the front. Do you need a minute? Or - or anything else?"

James knows he probably looks a bit off, standing there in the doorway with wide eyes and parted lips. He knows Remus is still worried over him and that the way he’s acting over the smell of the sugar cookies from next door isn’t helping, but he can’t stop the next thing that comes out of his mouth. 

“Cookies,” he says, sounding desperate. “I need cookies. I need _those_ cookies. The ones they’re making next door.”

Remus’ shoulders drop and the line on his forehead disappears. “Okay,” he says, relieved. “We’ll get some.” 

He goes back to the counter and reaches into the tip jar sitting by the register. Remus fishes around for the bills, but there aren’t many tips before the shop has opened for the day. 

“Could we offer a trade?” James suggests. “That’s a thing, right? People trade goods all the time. Some hot chocolate for some cookies?”

“Um.” Remus blinks and withdraws his hand from the tip jar. “I hadn’t thought about it, but sure. Bartering has been around for ages. We can make them an offer and see what they say. Do you want to take care of it? I’ll open while you do it.”

“Sure. How many people work over there anyway?”

“I’ve seen three at the most during their shifts,” Remus says. “You might want to take four cups just in case. Butter them up more.”

James nods, quickly setting to work to make the most festive hot chocolates he can and penning a quick note. 

_Hope you enjoy this special concoction, brewed with extra Christmas spirit._

_And extra marshmallows, but don’t tell my secret._

He pauses, unsure if he wants to sign his real name to the bottom of the note. It seems silly to do so. It also seems silly _not_ to. 

In the end, he draws a picture of a stag and signs off as Prongs.

“I’ll be back,” he calls to Remus before he heads out, shivering in the winter air. 

The bakery isn’t open yet, something James hadn’t considered, but he balances the hot chocolate carrier in one hand and knocks on the door with the other, hoping someone will answer. To his immense relief, a boy peeks out from the back, his face brightening when he sees James standing there with his drink carrier. 

“Hey,” the boy greets, unlocking the door and leaning against the frame. 

There’s no other way to describe this boy other than _cool._ He’s so effortlessly cool that it makes James a bit sick with jealousy. Whereas James’ hair sticks up all over the place as if he’s been electrocuted, this boy’s hair falls to his shoulders with effortless style. His grin as he takes James in is the heartbreaking sort seen on the front of a magazine. James’ own grin is a bit lopsided and a bit wonky, like the rest of him. 

“Hey,” James says, remembering his manners. He holds out the drink carrier. “I work next door and was wondering if you’d guys would be open for a trade. Some drinks for some of those cookies I can smell all the way over at our store?”

The boy’s eyes go to the steaming drinks in the carrier. James sees them noticeably widen and then alight when he takes them in. “Yeah, we’d be open to that. What do you think is fair for at least three of those?” A perfectly timed breeze directs the steam toward him and causes him to shiver, making him perfectly in need of the hot chocolate James is offering. “Maybe all four.”

“Oh, um, ten maybe? What do you think?” 

He hadn’t thought this far. _Why_ hadn’t he thought this far? He can hear his mother’s voice in his head telling him that it’s because he never thinks. 

He isn’t sure how much a single cookie actually costs. Surely it’s not more than a cup of hot chocolate. 

He really needs to get acquainted with how the real world works a bit more.

James nearly had a panic attack his first time shopping alone. He feels a similar sort of anxiety bubbling up now, because for some unknown reason, he _wants_ this boy to like him. To not think of him as some uncultured idiot. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” the boy says. He pushes the door open with his foot and gestures James inside. “Want to come in?”

The mood shift between _The Book Nook_ and the bakery is obvious.

While the _Nook_ relies on the old spines of their books to make up most of their decor, this place has fully embraced the holiday spirit. There are a few garlands and some added red features in the bookstore part of their shop, but this bakery doesn’t do Christmas half way. A full size artificial tree is standing proudly by the entrance. The ornaments, James notices, are mostly bakery themed - sparkly cupcakes and handmade cookies - with some Santas, ice skates, and presents thrown in for good measure.

Speaking of good measure, he even sees some measuring cups placed on the branches like improvised ornaments. 

This space is more open than the _Nook._ They also have a few tables for customers, but the path to the counter and display case is clear. There are bright white lights overhead and centerpieces on each table made of candles.

Despite the over-abundance of decorations that would often make a place tacky, this bakery isn’t, even he has to admit. This bakery has some real charm to it.

Without him noticing, the boy slips behind the counter and into the backroom. James hears some conversation, but it’s impossible to make out exactly what they’re saying. 

Only a minute or so later, the bakery boy emerges again. This time, he has a white paper bag in his hand, which he offers to James.

“We had some discussion about it, so here’s what I can offer. They thought about giving you six, but I talked them up to eight. Plus, there’s a mini cinnamon roll for you to try. Can you let me know what you think about it? We’re not sure whether the icing is ready for the public yet.”

James' eyes brighten pathetically at the bag as he takes it. Cool he most definitely is not. 

“Eight is perfect. Thank you. And yeah, I’ll let you know about the icing…” He squints at the name tag the boy has on, realizing that he's going to have to make his first eye doctor appointment on his own soon. “Sirius. Huh. Interesting name.”

“Blame my family,” Sirius says with a dramatic eye roll. “They have this weird thing about stars, but I’m still attached to it, even if they’re…” He shakes his head, clearly deciding whatever he was going to say is too much for a first meeting. “What’s yours?”

“James,” he answers. “Terribly plain, considering my parents were named _Fleamont_ and _Euphemia._ I guess they wanted me to have a simpler name.”

Sirius laughs, short and loud. Somehow, even that is cool when he does it. 

“They must have learned some lessons from their time in middle school. They wanted to give you a chance. Did they stick you with an embarrassing middle name, at least?”

James’ own lips quirk. It’s been a while since he’s laughed but he feels the familiar action bubbling up in his throat. 

“Afraid so. My middle name is Fleamont, after my dear old dad.”

“Perfect,” Sirius says, grinning. “I got Orion from my old dad too, but I wouldn’t call him dear.”

“Sirius!” someone yells from the room in the back. James can hear an oven closing. “Did you open the front?”

“I got it,” he calls back, reaching past James to flip the sign. “We’re here all day if you want to let me know about the icing. We’re still trying a few things.”

“Sounds good,” James says, offering Sirius a parting wave. “See you later, Sirius.”

“See you, James,” he replies, ducking behind the counter and grabbing an apron from the hook by the door that leads to the kitchen. “Pleasure doing business. Merry Christmas.”

James walks back to the shop, digging a reindeer shaped cookie out of the bag and taking a bite out of it, feeling happier than he has in a while. 

He makes a mental note to tell Sirius that the icing is incredible when a note falls out of the bag. He picks it up, unfolding it to find the words _Merry Christmas_ written out neatly. Under those words is a short note in careful, rounded letters.

_The cocoa smells just like Christmas. You have a gift. By the way, we love marshmallows here. What’s your favorite kind of Christmas cookie?_

The end of the note has a messy doodle of a doe instead of a traditional signature. 

He looks back at the bakery as if whoever wrote the note would be there watching him, but he finds he’s alone. It’s starting to become a more normal feeling for him. 

But he clutches the note a bit tighter in his hands as proof that he’s not. 

\--

Lily has worked at odds and ends jobs since she was fifteen. 

There was an ice cream shoppe over some summers, stocking the shelves at the grocery store closest to her parents’ house, and even a brief time as a waitress at an old fashioned drive in.

That last one didn’t go as well as the others.

It’s not her fault, Lily has argued, that one order of burgers and fries looks pretty similar to the next one. They should have worked out a better system to make sure she got the right food in the right cars.

College, her parents insisted, was a time to take a break from job hopping. For the first year - at least the first semester, her father asked - she could keep her resume on her computer and focus on getting used to new classes and schedules. They would send her an allowance so she wouldn’t have to dive into the first place with a Help Wanted sign.

Her deal with her parents lasted about a month. 

By the end of her first semester, Lily had a part time job on campus, along with a few hours of tutoring at the Academic Support Center.

Lily, it turns out, is good at many things, but she isn’t good at not being busy. 

Too busy, her mother would argue.

By now, though, her tendency to jump in and figure out how it all works later is not news. Her mother only lifted a brow when Lily came home on the first day of winter break, explaining that she found the perfect position for her few weeks at home.

It doesn’t hurt that one of her best friends works there too.

For the time she is away from school, Lily wants to be immersed in the season. She wants to hear Christmas songs when she walks into the store and dig out all of the boxes from her parents’ attic. She wants to wrap presents and bundle up in several layers to look at lights.

Lily Evans loves Christmas. 

The bakery is perfect, she knows immediately, because the bakery is Christmas in a place. Or, at least, it has the potential to be.

Mr. Dumbledore, the old man who owns the shop, gives her and Sirius what is pretty close to free rein. He didn’t flinch when Lily spent a whole afternoon with a stack of felt and scissors to make some of the ornaments that decorated the large tree by the door. He didn’t mind when she put away the boring cookie cutters and bought every Christmas-adjacent one from Homegoods. 

Lily could have sworn she caught an actual twinkle in his eye. 

She decides, as she cuts out some Christmas tree cookies, that she has to prove that she is a valuable asset to the bakery during this time of year. New decorations will attract new customers. Themed cookies will make them want to buy a set instead of one or two to eat while they walk and shop.

She can put her talent and Christmas spirit to use.

Each member of their team has a specific job. Together, they can make everything work. 

Because Lily has many talents, but baking isn’t one of them. It’s only a minor problem when she makes a point to work at a small bakery. 

Sirius is in charge of most of the baking. Between him and Marlene, who has most of the ideas for the recipes, they keep the ovens running and churning out new creations for their customers. While Sirius checks on the supplies, Marlene comes up with names for the new things they add to the menu every day.

Decorating is something Lily can do. The store, the cookies, everything that can be decorated. These days, she goes to sleep with visions of Christmas cookies and icing dancing in her head.

That’s how she finds herself going back and forth from the register to the decorating counter all day. She’s usually trying to sell the goods in the display case, but she makes a point of going into the back and creating a few masterpieces to make them stand out against the more corporate grocery store bakeries on the other side of town.

Why Sirius is hanging out with her in the back instead of helping Marlene in the front, though, is anyone’s guess. He will probably argue that he’s keeping an eye on the stuff in the oven since Lily can’t be trusted with it.

She decides not to bring it up for the sake of her ego.

“No one,” Lily says, brandishing the pastry bag like a dagger, “should be alone on Christmas.”

“In theory.” Sirius lounges against the fridge with his arms crossed over his chest. “But when the choice is alone or with my family… I think I’d rather go it alone.”

“But it’s Christmas!” Lily argues. “Haven’t you heard any of the songs?”

“You clearly haven’t heard my dad’s rant about how the protests are all a ploy to -”

“Oh, I don’t need to hear it,” Lily says, shaking her head. She bends to add another row to a gingerbread man’s sweater. “My brother-in-law is always going on about how safe spaces are ruining the world.”

“Exactly. I think I’d rather be alone.”

Lily sighs. “I’m going to find something to get you into the spirit.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Evans,” Sirius says, standing. “I love Christmas, even if I don’t love spending it with my family.” He swipes the hot chocolate sitting by her side and takes a drink. “I can’t believe you claimed this one first! You know how much I love caramel.”

“Hey!” Lily elbows him and snatches her cup back. “I’ve been saving that! This is the best hot chocolate I’ve had in my life.” 

“Greedy isn’t a good look on you, Evans,” Sirius faux chides. 

"Thievery isn't a good look on you, Black."

“The boy does make a good hot chocolate, though. Assuming he is the one who made it. I don’t actually know. I wonder if we could trade him twice in one day?”

"Definitely," Lily says confidently. "As long as we give him something worth trading. He's the one who wanted the cookies first, right? Did you tell him to get back to us about the new icing?"

“I did indeed. Do you have something else in mind?”

"I tried another new flavor," she says, pointing to a bowl on the counter. "Caramel sauce, inspired by the cocoa. We should see what they think about it."

“And if in return they give us more hot chocolate…” Sirius says, smirking devilishly. 

"Even better."

“Want me to run them over after you decorate them? You _can_ decorate, right? You won’t be able to burn the kitchen that way, surely.”

"I've only decorated everything in the display case," Lily replies drily. She lifts the pastry bag and puts a spot of icing on his nose. "Get an extra caramel cocoa so you don't steal mine this time."

“Evans!” Sirius cries, scrunching his nose in fake outrage. “How uncivilized of you!” 

"You deserve it, Black." Victoriously, Lily takes the last drink of the coveted hot chocolate. "There's some fresh cookies on the bottom rack to give them. Plus," she slides the gingerbread man she was working on into a bag, "this one. Can you get everything else ready?"

“You’re bossy,” Sirius comments, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his jumper. “You just want to send these things? Nothing else?”

"Should we offer them something else?"

“I don’t know,” Sirius says, shrugging. “A confession of love, maybe? I may marry that bloke just for his hot chocolate skills.”

"You're trying to find someone to spend Christmas with. I knew it!"

Sirius rolls his eyes, used to this line of argument from her. "You got me, Evans."

"Is he cute?"

"Sure," Sirius says, though he doesn't elaborate. "Looked like he could use some cheering up, though."

"I'll write a note," Lily says, wiping her hands on her apron and putting down the pastry bag. She grabs a sticky note and pencil.

_Any of these your favorite? Give me a hint._

_Let me know if the icing lives up to its inspiration. More cocoa, please!_

Like in the last one, Lily draws something vaguely resembling a doe as her signature.

“Are you flirting through note?” Sirius asks over her shoulder. Lily nearly jumps a foot in the air, not expecting him to be standing so close.

"I'm not flirting," Lily says, folding the note and putting it in the bag with the cookies. "I don't even know what the guy looks like. _You're_ the one who met him. Are you flirting when you go over?"

“I’m _always_ flirting,” Sirius says, giving her a wink. She can’t tell if he’s joking or not. Probably not. Most likely not. “Wish me luck, Evans. At least one of us should get a boyfriend out of this.”

"Don't break up!" she says, handing him the bag. "You don't want to make me choose between you and hot chocolate."

\--

A week passes by and James starts to find himself actually looking forward to work. 

He knows this isn’t typically how you’re supposed to feel about a job. Or, at least, he’s heard people grumbling about them in the past. Considering this is his first job, and he’s working alongside Remus everyday, he doesn’t feel like he’s got it too bad. 

There are certainly worse things he could be doing with his time. 

Like sitting around alone in his house for one. He’s been doing that for over a month now, and ever since starting his job where he’s around actual, live people during the day, he finds it harder to go home to the silence. 

It’s even harder waking up to the silence instead of his mother’s singing, which is why he suspects he shows up to work even before Remus this particular morning. 

“Hey,” Remus greets as he pushes the door open, tilting his head in that concerned way he does around James sometimes. “You’re early.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being early,” James tells him. “I’ve been working on a new hot chocolate mix. Considering it’s the only thing I’m good at around here. Other than charming the customers into buying those awful pre-packaged brownies before they realize there’s a bakery next door.”

Remus smiles, seemingly deciding that if James is in the mood to joke around, he must not be doing too badly. 

“You the only one here?” 

“No,” James says, having to keep his tone as neutral as possible. “Unfortunately --”

The back door opens with such force that both James and Remus nearly jump out of their skin. 

“Benjy is here,” James finishes, gesturing at the boy who entered with a candy cane.

“Remus!” Benjy greets, loudly. He’s wearing headphones. He’s _always_ wearing headphones and refuses to take them out until absolutely necessary. Most of James’ conversations with the other boy have been at shouting level. 

James has patience for a lot of things, but Benjy Fenwick is not one of them. 

“Benjy,” Remus greets with a nod back. He gives James a look that clearly says _play nice._

And James absolutely doesn't want to play nice, but he will. Mostly because he doesn’t have a proper partner in crime here, and pranking Benjy is a two person job if he’s ever seen one. 

"James!" Benjy calls at headphone volume, turning his grin toward him. "Have something new for us to try?"

“These aren’t for you,” James says, quickly putting a chocolate drizzle on top of the whipped cream. “Sirius will be stopping by soon for another trade. These are for our bakery friends.”

"Sirius?" Remus asks, doing that concerned head tilt again. 

"He works next door," Benjy says. He goes to straighten a few books on their shelf, but he's still in shouting range. "Are you two friends?"

James blinks at this.

 _Are_ they friends?

He isn’t sure. Sirius certainly makes a point to talk to him any time he comes in, and not just passing greetings. They’ve had tons of conversations about random things that Remus doesn’t have the attention span for. It’s like they’re riding the same particular wave of ADD and know exactly where the other person is going with their thousand fork in the road conversations. 

Remus, god love him, always says he can’t follow James’ train of thought to save his life. 

He thinks he’s friends with Sirius. 

He _wants_ to be friends with Sirius. 

“We’re friends,” James says, hoping it manifests. “He’s pretty cool. Remus, you’d probably like him, if you could ever pull yourself out of the back enough to meet him.”

"I'm making sure we don't need to put in another order for supplies. Last year, we ran out of candy canes just in time for Christmas Eve, and -"

"Sirius is a good guy," Benjy says, moving down the shelf. He actually moves his headphones around his neck, for once, but James can hear the faint noise of the music. "He's friends with my girlfriend."

“You have a girlfriend?” James asks a bit too harshly. He clears his throat, trying again. “I mean… I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.” 

Benjy grins, unbothered by James. He’s unbothered by most things, apparently. 

“Her name is Mary,” Benjy says. James swears he has hearts in his eyes. “We’ve been together for two years now.” 

“Does she work at the bakery too?” Remus asks.

"No," Benjy says. "She's stuck at Target for the season because she wanted the employee discount. But her best friend works next door."

James wonders if that’s who has been writing him the notes. It could be Sirius, for all he knows, but the handwriting is so neat and the signature is a doe. He's assumed it’s a girl. 

Whoever it is, he looks forward to their notes more than they could possibly ever know. 

He tucks his own response into the drink carrier, snuggled next to a cup with a doe drawn on it. 

_I hope you like this drink, Doe, whoever you are. I made it with you in mind. Let me know what you think._

_The icing was wonderful._

_Still not my favorite flavor, but mine is a bit less traditional for this time of year. ;) My mother used to make it every Christmas for me to go with my cookies._

_— Prongs_

He wonders if he’s over sharing in his note to Doe. Probably so. He has a tendency to over share. He pauses over the last sentence, his pen hovering over the word _used._

He frowns. 

“James,” Remus says, shaking him from his thoughts. He's looking at him with concern in his eyes again. He keeps catching James like this, teetering between normalcy and despair. 

“I’m fine,” James says. He doesn’t feel fine. Not at all, but he doesn’t want to bother Remus. “Really, I’m okay.” 

Remus opens his mouth, probably about to argue, but the bell to their shop dings and James looks up to see Sirius strolling in, looking far too cool to be James’ actual friend. 

“Hey,” James greets, quickly placing the rest of the cups in the carrier. “I’ve got your stuff ready to go.”

"We're trying something new," Sirius says. He strides in confidently, like there is no reason he shouldn't belong in the shop. He holds out the bag, which has a doodle of a deer's head on the side. "Snickerdoodle icing sandwiches. Still experimenting with the icing flavor, if you have any opinions. I brought three for three, if that works for you?"

James’ eyes brighten. “That works perfectly.” 

“Hey, Sirius!” Benjy says, appearing out of nowhere to throw an arm around Sirius. James watches as Sirius doesn’t look at Benjy like he’s the most annoying person on the planet. Sirius grins. “How’s it going over there?”

"We have another Christmas tree that got brought in this morning," Sirius says. "We are going to look like Santa's workshop by the end of the week if Evans has anything to say about it." He plucks Benjy's headphones from around his neck and laughs. "You don't get enough Christmas music from hanging with the girls?"

“Are you kidding?” Benjy laughs. “They have nothing on my Christmas spirit.” 

James watches the way Benjy and Sirius interact with a weird sense of jealousy. The familiar way in which they play off each other. Whenever Benjy tries to hang off of James, he just ends up shoving him away. 

He feels like a Christmas grump watching them. 

A Scrooge. 

He cuts his eyes to the side, feeling like a jerk, when he notices that Remus is still standing there. _Just_ standing there, actually, with his mouth open and his eyes wide. James follows his gaze back to Sirius. 

_No way._

“Sirius,” James says, hopping across the counter and not so gently shoving Benjy out of the way. “Have you met Remus? He’s the one who hired me.”

Sirius ducks out from under Benjy's arm to take a step toward Remus. "Hey," he greets, flicking back his hair in a movement that is too much like the hero in a movie to be real. "Thanks for hiring a cocoa expert. We're basically running on this stuff at the bakery."

“Oh, um,” Remus stutters, his face flaming red. James bites his lower lip to keep from snickering. “Yeah, no problem. I mean, James is my friend. Good friend. _Just_ a friend.” 

Benjy laughs, but it's not mean-spirited.

“We’ve known each other since we were five,” James chimes in. “He used to correct the way I spoke in class.” 

“He put an s on words that didn’t need them,” Remus explains, blushing at the floor. 

“Drove Remus crazy,” James says. “But I think that’s what he looks for in a friendship. Someone he can correct. Make better.”

Sirius nods and puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He's looking at Remus instead of James, which seems to be making Remus' ears turn red. "I know someone like that. We knew each other as kids, so she's always telling me to make sure I sound as smart as I am."

"Remember when she made you enter the geography bee in high school and you won?" Benjy says, turning the volume down slightly on his headphones.

Sirius grins. "I have a good memory."

“Remus was on the debate team in high school,” James says. Wingman James, reporting for duty. “He’s the smartest person I know. He's always wanted to go to the trivia nights at that little pub downtown. What’s the place?” 

“The Three Broomsticks,” Remus manages to choke out. He’s looking at James now like he’s on fire. 

“That’s right,” James says, snapping his fingers. “He can never quite find enough people to form a team, and I’m hopeless at that sort of thing. I go for the half off appetizers.”

"I like half off appetizers," Sirius says. "You know, I think I could talk a few people into coming with me if you needed some more. Right, Benjy?"

"Definitely," Benjy agrees, nodding. "Mary loves a chance to show off being right."

Sirius lets out one of his bark-like laughs that James has come to recognize. "Our friends do love doing that."

Remus manages to finally look at Sirius, and his face fades to a pink. “You’d really come?”

“Yeah.” Sirius grins again. “I’ll ask them about it when I get back to the bakery with these.” He takes his hand out of his pocket to grab the drink carrier. “I don’t know what they’ll do to me if they’re cold when I get there. You’ll let me know what you think about the cookie sandwiches, yeah? All of you?” 

“Will do,” James says before Benjy can open his mouth. “I might stop by later anyway to get a few treats for myself after my shift ends.”

“See you then.” Sirius raises his other hand in a wave. “Good to meet you, Remus.”

The tips of Remus’ ears go pink again. “Nice to meet you.” 

With another wave to Benjy, Sirius turns and disappears with the jingle of the bell over the door.

James waits the obligatory twenty seconds to make sure Sirius is around the corner before he bursts out laughing. 

“Shut up!” Remus shouts, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “I can’t believe you did that!” 

“Did what?” James teases. “Get you a date with a guy you clearly like?”

“I dunno, Rem,” Benjy says, leaning against the counter. “It looks to me like James did you a favor. Sirius Black doesn’t always say yes to people he doesn’t know.” 

“Really?” Remus asks, matching James’ disbelief in his tone. 

Sirius seems like he says yes to everything just for the experience of it all.

“I don’t want to get too into it, since it’s not my stuff to tell,” Benjy says with a shrug. “He has some family stuff that makes him think twice about who to trust. He must like you, Potter, to go all in so fast.”

James can’t help the pride that swells embarrassingly in his chest. 

“Yeah, well,” he says, trying to brush it off with a hand in his hair. “He clearly likes Remus more.”

“He doesn’t even know me,” Remus protests. His face hasn’t fully gone back to its normal shade. “God, what if I make it awkward at trivia? I can’t believe this.” 

“How would you make it awkward?” Benjy asks.

“By being myself!” Remus’ hands fly in the air like he’s praying. “What if he thinks I’m _too_ much of a know it all?” 

“What if he thinks it’s adorable?” James counters. 

“Some of Sirius’ best friends can be know-it-alls. He likes people who challenge him,” Benjy says, dragging the bag of baked goods toward himself. “Hey, can we try these?”

“Wait!” James cries, snatching the bag. He opens it, checking for a piece of folded paper. “Just let me see if — ah ha!” 

To his delight, Doe has packed another note. He unfolds it, handing the bag back to Benjy. 

_Another experiment for you! If you’re tired of trying new things, I can_

“What’s that?” Remus asks before he can finish reading. 

“Oh,” James says, blinking. Now it’s his turn to blush. “It’s nothing, really.” 

“It can’t be nothing,” Benjy says, already munching on one of the cookie sandwiches. “Not with the way you ripped the bag from my hands.” 

“It’s just a note,” James says simply. Because it is that simple. Right? “I’ve been sending notes back and forth with someone who works over at the bakery whenever we trade.”

“Who is it?” Benjy says between bites. “I could introduce you.” 

“I… don’t know,” James admits. “We don’t use our real names.”

“That’s silly,” Benjy says. He pushes the bag toward Remus for him to take his cookie sandwich. “There’s only so many people it could be. Do you want me to find out?”

“No,” James says quickly. Maybe a bit too quickly. 

He isn’t sure why, but he doesn’t want Benjy being the one to tell him who Doe is. He hasn’t even considered finding out himself, really. At least not yet. She’s someone he enjoys conversing with through the notes they send back and forth, sure. He thinks she’s someone he would like to get to know in person, based on her taste in icing alone.

But he sort of likes the mystery of her right now. 

He likes how simple it is to talk to her on paper while everything else feels hard right now. 

“No?” Benjy repeats. 

James shakes his head. “I’m not there yet, but when I am, I’ll figure it out myself.”

Remus looks at him. 

“Okay.” Benjy shrugs after a beat and stuffs the rest of his cookie sandwich, which is a little too large for one bite, into his mouth. He turns and heads toward the stacks. “Tell them the icing’s good!” he calls over his shoulder, pulling his headphones back up and getting into sorting mode. 

“I can go up front and make sure everything is ready.” Remus takes his own cookie sandwich and wraps it in a napkin. “Are you good?”

“Fine,” James says. “Just fine.” 

He wonders how many times he’s answered that same question the same way. 

James opens the note to see the last line by Doe.

_Merry Christmas, Prongs!_

\--

Every day they get closer to Christmas, the bakery gets busier. 

Pretty soon, Lily doesn’t have time to banter with Sirius or tease Marlene about which hot chocolate she selects. Sirius is in the kitchen practically non-stop, leaving fresh trays of cookies on the counter for Lily to decorate when she has a chance. Marlene takes over the register more often so Lily can whip up new icing and make a gingerbread family’s smiles charmingly crooked.

By the time evening rolls around, Lily is glad for the chance to breathe. 

The dinner rush is good for servers who need tips and the tired crew of their bakery who need a break. With unanimous agreement, they send Marlene to the diner at the end of the road to get them something to eat and Sirius upstairs to talk to Mr. Dumbledore about plans for the next day. 

That leaves Lily alone in the shop, but she can handle it. Their display case is as fully stocked as could be expected this late in the day.

And she has a tree to decorate. 

Lily moves onto her toes to reach one of the higher branches. She strings the lights and starts to move down, trying to make them evenly spaced. 

The bell chimes, making her look around the tree to the door. 

“I’ll be right there!” Lily calls. She tucks the end of this string of lights into the branches and straightens her apron. While she walks toward the counter, she adds, “How can I...?”

She stops in her tracks when she sees the person standing by the counter. He isn’t wearing a hat, despite the recent dip in temperature, but his jacket is buttoned to his neck. It’s not the clothes that stop her, though. It’s the fact that his smile is possibly brighter than the decorated tree by the door.

Mary’s teasing about Lily’s _type_ comes to mind immediately. He has a pair of thick rimmed frames that remind her of those pictures of celebrities where they try to look like average people by wearing glasses. His hair sticks up in a way that makes her want to run her fingers through it to see if it can lay flat.

What is wrong with her?

Lily clears her throat. “Sorry about that. How can I help you?” 

“Hi there,” the boy greets cheerfully. His cheeks are pink. Likely from the cold, Lily assumes. “I was wanting to get some cupcakes. Do you have a mix and match option? Is that a thing?”

“We can do that,” Lily says, going behind the counter and gesturing toward the display case. She grabs a box, puts on a glove, and opens the back of the case. It gives her a few seconds to get back into bakery mode. “Do you know which ones you want?”

“Two chocolate, two strawberry, and…” He peers over the display, his eyes searching before they land on what he wants and light up. He has bits of gold in his hazel eyes. “Two lemon cupcakes. They’re my favorite.”

A laugh bubbles out of her chest before she even realizes it. 

That makes his eyes sparkle distractingly.

“You got it,” Lily answers, ducking down to get his requested cupcakes. She makes a point of selecting the ones that she thinks show off the best of her decorating abilities, including the lemon cupcake she decorated like a star. 

Standing up again, Lily closes the box and sits it on top of the display case. She looks back at him and can’t help but smile. “Anything else I can get you?” 

“No, that’s perfect,” he says, handing over his credit card and looking around appreciatively. “This place looks amazing. I haven’t even gotten a tree yet.”

Lily takes his card but doesn’t swipe it.

“You have to get a tree!” she says with a mix of affected outrage and surprise. “How else will Santa know where to leave your presents?” 

The boy blinks at her, taken aback for the slightest moment before laughing. 

“I guess you’re right,” he says, his eyes softening as he looks at her. “I’d hate to be the only one on Christmas morning that Santa missed. Especially since I’ve been so good this year.”

“It’s never fun to be disappointed on December 26th. I argued for the extra tree in the corner because we weren’t quite right without it.” As she gestures to the half-lit tree, Lily catches a glimpse of the card in her hand and hurriedly runs it through the reader. “Here’s your card. And your cupcakes!”

“Maybe I need your help picking out a tree,” the boy comments, taking back his card. “You seem to have good taste.”

“Well, I am the unofficial Christmas decorator of this bakery.”

“Well, I appreciate your Christmas spirit,” he says, picking up his cupcake box. “Thanks again, by the way. For these.”

"Of course." Lily tucks some hair behind her ear. 

No other customer has left her so flustered and curious at the same time. He has talked to her more than almost anyone else who stops by the shop, so maybe that's why she doesn't want him to leave. 

"I hope you like them," she says. "We're here with Christmas spirit and baked goods for the whole month."

“I’ll keep that in mind…” He pauses, looking at her name tag. “Lily. Pretty name.”

"Thanks. My parents had a theme in mind when naming me and my sister, so it's a little -" Lily catches herself rambling. "Anyway. Merry Christmas."

“My name’s James,” he says, pausing by the door to wave. “Merry Christmas, Lily.”

"Merry Christmas, James. Hope to see you again."

After he leaves, Lily lifts her fingers to her warm face. Her heart is beating and her cheeks are flushed like she raced down a hill on a sled instead of doing her job and selling cupcakes.

The front door opens again, revealing Marlene with a bag of food and Sirius with a grin.

"Hey," she greets, schooling her features into place. "Want to help me decorate the tree?"


	2. Before You

_I’m gonna hold you close. Make sure that you know, I was lost before you._

\--

James has never been to a grocery store alone. 

Before, his mother would do all the shopping. He would sometimes tag along, causally throwing things in the cart and then getting fussed at for his selections. After, he had been provided with so many dishes from his parents’ friends that his fridge had remained fully stocked for a while. When the contents got scarce, Remus had gone to the store with him. 

He finds it ironic that he now has to do his first ever solo grocery shopping trip during the Christmas rush. There’s not enough room in the store for the sheer amount of people paired with his anxiety. 

“Why does a fucking turkey cost this much?” he cries, pulling at the tag of a giant bird in disbelief. A mother passing by gives him a glare, tugging her child quickly past him. “Sorry, sorry.”

He tries to rein it in after that, attempting not to come off as some hopeless boy who scares young children with his cursing and doesn't know how much a simple turkey costs, but each aisle seems to elicit a different type of panic attack. 

He had made a list before he went. Remus had said that the list would help. It would keep him focused and get him in and out of there. That’s what Remus had told him. He _trusted_ Remus. 

But now all the list does is provide useless clues like a scavenger hunt he’s not equipped to handle. He doesn't know where any of this stuff _is._

“Oh my god,” James groans, slumping over and letting his head bang against a shelf of Christmas tree cakes that he absolutely doesn't need but sorely wants. He’s rounded this store three times already, and this seems to be the only thing he can find. It’s like a useless Little Debbie shaped north star that keeps calling back to him. 

He should just give into it at this point. Throw enough Little Debbie cakes in his cart for the week, and call it a day. 

“Are you okay?”

James shrieks. There’s no other word for the high pitched sound that comes out his mouth at that moment. Which is unfortunate, because when he turns, it’s to find Lily from the bakery standing there, head tilted and looking amused with a shopping basket hanging from her arm. 

“You scared me!” he tells her, leaning back against his cart for support. It rolls a bit down the aisle, and she follows him with her head still tilted and the amused smile still in place. 

"You didn't answer the question," she says as she walks beside him. "Are you okay?"

He considers lying and telling her he’s fine like he’s been doing with Remus, but, for some reason, the word won’t come out. 

For some reason, it’s harder around her. 

“No,” he admits, standing up straighter and running a hand through his hair. “I’m sort of… lost. I’m not sure what I’m doing.”

"Lost because you're shopping for something new? Or because of the Christmas season rush?" 

“Both?”

Lily reads something in his face. He sees her eyes soften as she moves closer to him to let someone pass them on the aisle.

"How can I help?"

He’s heard that question a thousand times before, and each time he’s sort of brushed it off. Insisting that he doesn’t need help. That he’s fine. 

But with her, he extends the shopping list in his hand. 

“It’s my first Christmas without my parents and I’m trying to get stuff to make Christmas dinner,” he says, looking at the floor. “Except I can’t find any of the stuff on the list. My mom did most of the shopping.”

"Oh."

There's one long beat where he wonders if she's going to flinch or say _sorry_ or break the moment.

Instead, she takes the list from him. "I told you I'm a Christmas expert," Lily says, looking over the paper. "We can handle this. What's your favorite part of Christmas dinner?"

“Oh, um, my mom used to make a sweet potato casserole,” he says, following Lily as she starts to move with purpose. “Also… the turkey. But I didn’t realize how expensive they are.”

"I usually cheat with the turkey," she confesses, guiding them to canned goods. "We can get smaller packs so they don't take as long to cook. Let's focus on the sweet potatoes first." 

“Okay, yeah. Sure,” he says, feeling a bit stunned. “Are you - are you sure you don’t mind?”

_Do you mind that I’m a mess?_

_Do you mind helping me?_

"I don't mind. Can I put my basket in your cart?"

“No, go ahead,” he offers, stopping the cart so she can drop it in. An older couple looks at them with hearts in their eyes. James blushes, knowing they’re under the wrong impression. “Seems like everyone's out doing their Christmas shopping today.”

"Everyone is probably shopping for their pre-Christmas parties and events," Lily says. When she isn't weighed down by her basket, which only contains a box of cereal for now, she moves her hands when she talks. "It's absolute chaos on Christmas Eve."

“Speaking from experience?” he asks as she places a few cans in his cart. 

"Yes," she says, nudging the cart onward. "One time I ran out of powdered sugar and had to go in…" Lily shivers dramatically but brightens a moment later. "To the turkey!"

James follows with dumbstruck wonder as she easily weaves her way through the crowd. He watches as people part for her, allowing him through too. 

He wonders if she’ll go grocery shopping with him again after this. 

“Maybe a smaller turkey would be better since it’s just me,” he says as she starts searching through the frozen birds. 

Lily looks up at him and drops the turkey in her hands. Her eyes are wide enough for him to see that they match the green in her holiday sweater. "You're eating Christmas dinner alone?"

“Well, I mean… yeah. Everyone is busy with their own families, and I’m sort of… not. So, it’s just me this year.”

"You shouldn't -" Lily pushes the cart forward toward the packs of turkey breasts."Someone will want you at their Christmas dinner. It's good to see people around the table and… and…" She searches him, looking for an answer, though, as much as he's told her, they don't know each other well. Her eyes flicker to his face and back down to his chest. _"The Book Nook,"_ she reads. "You know Benjy?"

“Oh,” he says, looking down at his chest. He’s still in his work clothes and the name tag that goes with them. “Yeah, I know him. I’m working there for the holidays.”

"You work right next door! You should come over to the bakery again. I'm working pretty much every day. We can talk Christmas."

James smiles. “I’d like that. Assuming I don’t scare you away with my lack of grocery shopping knowledge.”

"We're going to find you somewhere to go for Christmas dinner," Lily says. She drops a package of turkey in the cart and grabs some things from an end cap. "You can bring the sweet potato casserole."

James’ grip tightens against his cart. “Oh no. I couldn’t impose on someone like that. Especially not Benjy.” 

_Please not Benjy,_ he thinks. _Don’t make me spend Christmas with Benjy. I am begging you._

"It doesn't have to be Benjy. We should find somewhere, though. It's Christmas!" Lily has one hand on the side of the cart to direct them through the store. 

“I think you’re going to have your work cut out for you,” he says. 

She throws a few more things in his cart. He didn’t even know this aisle _existed._

"You make the casserole. I'll worry about dinner."

With another turn, she brings them to the front of the store. "I think that's everything you need for some Christmas staples to get you through the next few days. Stop by the bakery tomorrow. We can give you some snickerdoodles and gingerbread."

“Sounds great.” 

They stand there for a moment, smiling at one another. James wonders if she doesn’t want to leave. He certainly doesn’t. This has been the easiest it’s been in a long time to talk to someone. 

“Hey, Lily,” he says before he can lose his nerve. 

"James?" 

“Would you like to come over sometime so I can thank you for helping me? If you really can find me somewhere to go for Christmas, then I can make this meal for us as a pre-Christmas dinner.”

"Yes," Lily says, her smile growing like his must be. "I'd love that. We can meet up after work one day."

“Sounds perfect. Well, I’d better get going,” he says, gesturing at the growing check out line. “Thanks again, Lily. You really saved me.”

"It's no problem." Lily takes her basket out of the cart and puts it over her arm again. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” 

He watches as she walks away, pausing at an aisle to wave at him one last time. He returns it, as his heart pounds with something like hope. 

His hand hovers in the air long after she’s left. 

\--

Christmas has been coming for the last few weeks.

Lily set out their Christmas tree as soon as she got home over Thanksgiving. She’s played her Christmas music Pandora station since the first of November and already worn several pairs of Christmas socks and a few Christmas sweaters.

More people stop by the bakery for gingerbread families and cupcakes decorated like trees. The stores are busy. Commercials declare all sorts of sales for the holidays.

Then, all at once, Christmas makes itself fully known. 

The temperature drops overnight. A few strings of lights appear on the trees that line the sidewalk. The town hangs some garlands on the streetlamps. The air has the cheerful static energy of the upcoming holiday.

On her way to work, Lily hunches her shoulders against the cold, pulling the zipper of her jacket up to her neck. She puts her gloved hands in her pockets and tries to warm herself with the spirit of the season that acts as a fire in her chest this time of year.

When she gets to the bakery, it’s already warm. Sirius is in the kitchen, ovens roaring with a few dozen cookies. Lily hangs her coat on a peg in the back and sets to work up front. She turns on some background music and hums along while she turns on the lights and adjusts the decorations so they’re perfect.

Maybe it’s the temperature. Maybe it’s the peak of signs and festivities she saw on her walk. Maybe it’s the impromptu shopping she did last evening.

No matter what it is, it’s really beginning to feel a lot like Christmas.

“What should we send over today?” Lily calls back to Sirius. “What do you think James and Benjy would like?”

“James?” Sirius pokes his head into the window that lets her look into the kitchen. 

“Yes,” she says, opening the register to make sure they have enough change. “The guy who works next door.”

“I know James,” Sirius says. “How do you know James?”

“We ran into each other.”

“You ran into each other?”

“At the grocery store,” Lily says, not going into the way she blushed like a fool when he walked into the bakery. “He was still wearing his nametag, so we figured out that we work close to each other. What should we send over to him?”

“You ran into James at the store,” Sirius repeats, ignoring her as if figuring out what James would like isn’t the most pressing thing. And Benjy. Benjy too. “Just ran into him and struck up a conversation?”

She stopped when she saw him because he looked like he needed someone. The least she could do was make Christmas grocery shopping a little easier. Telling Sirius about James’ lost expression and confession about his parents, however, feels too personal. It’s not her place.

“Yeah,” she answers, closing the register drawer. “He needed some help finding stuff for a recipe. I’ve learned all the hacks at that store, so I gave him some guidance.” 

Sirius eyes her, smirking. “I’m sure you did. Did you also give him your number?”

Lily tilts her chin back and looks through the window at him. “I did not, actually.” 

She doesn’t tell him that the reason she didn’t is because she didn’t think about it.

Sirius tsks in that annoying _you’ve made a rookie mistake_ way _._

“Evans, Evans, Evans,” he chides. “How will you ever get a date with him if you don’t get his number?”

“I didn’t say I was trying to get a date with him!” 

The words sound defensive, even to herself. 

The memory of his question comes to mind. At the end, when he was about to go to a check out line, he asked if she wanted to come over for dinner.

Is that a date?

“I was asking what kind of cookies you think we should send over since we aren’t going to survive the day without some hot chocolate.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Sirius says before switching his voice into a high pitched version of a southern belle. “ _Oh, Sirius! Whatever shall I do? What sort of cookie says ‘I love you?’”_

“I’ll do it myself,” Lily says, hiding her face by ducking into the display case, but she can’t escape Sirius’ laughter. 

The front door bell dings, and Lily looks up to see Marlene coming in looking a bit frazzled. Marlene is rarely on time and rarely put together when she does arrive. Today, she appears to be fighting with her hair at the last possible minute. 

“Good morning,” she says, trying to gather her thick, curly hair into a bun. The hair band busts on the second twist, and she drops her bags with a groan. “Ugh! Lily! Please tell me you have a spare hair tie.”

Now Sirius is probably laughing at both of them.

“Here,” Lily says. She takes the extra hair tie from around her wrist and holds it over the display case to Marlene. “I have an extra pack in my coat pocket if we need more.” 

“You’re amazing, seriously,” Marlene says, taking the hair tie with wide, happy eyes. 

_“Siriusly,”_ Sirius corrects.

Marlene is a bit of a mess on the best of days and could come off to some people as a bit ditzy or helpless, but she’s always been a great friend to Lily. She adores the other girl and is willing to spare a few hair ties when need be. 

Sirius has told her more than once that she has the patience of a saint. Marlene, he says, is proof of that. 

“So, what’s going?” Marlene asks, picking up her apron. Lily ties it for her without being asked. Too many failed attempts and getting her fingers stuck on Marlene’s part. “What are we talking about?”

“What kind of hot chocolate do you want?” Lily asks before Sirius can say anything. “I’m going to send over some cookies to the guys next door. Is there something special you think they’d like?”

“Just a milk chocolate for me. Extra marshmallows again,” Marlene says. “The sugar cookies are always a hit this time of year.”

“Good idea. That’s what they asked for to start this whole thing.” Lily untwists one of the straps on her apron as she turns back to Sirius. “Do you have a fresh batch ready?”

“Yep,” Sirius says, handing her a box that's warm to the touch. “If that doesn’t get you a marriage proposal by Christmas, I don’t know what will.” 

Marlene blinks at them. “What?”

“Sirius thinks I’m flirting with one of the boys,” Lily says. She pulls her hat over her ears for the walk. “While I’ve been nice enough not to mention the way he’s always grinning when he comes back from the bookshop. Who caught your eye over there, Black?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius says. “On a completely unrelated note, how would you feel about joining the coffee shop guys for a trivia night?”

“He wants us to go along on his date, Marley,” Lily stage-whispers conspiratorially. 

Marlene smiles to signal her amusement but knows better than getting in the middle of Lily and Sirius when they’re like this.

“I’ll go with you,” Lily says. “Crushing you at trivia and learning who you’re crushing on are great incentives.”

“Evans, you’re a monster,” Sirius says fondly. “Now, take those cookies next door and make sure James knows they’re from _both_ of us.”

“Don’t be jealous, Black.”

With a salute to her co-workers, Lily goes out the door and flips the sign to open. It’s only a few steps to the shop next door, but the wind makes her shiver as she walks in. 

“Hello!” she calls. 

To her delight, James is the one at the counter. He looks up when he sees her, and she watches as his whole body shifts into his smile. Eyes, shoulders, head, chest. When he smiles, all of him moves with it. 

“Hey, Lily!” he says, pausing where he’s wiping down the counter and coming on the other side to talk to her. His eyes brighten when he sees the box in her hands. “Cookies?”

“Yes. I brought them over for our daily hot chocolate trade. I know Sirius usually comes, but I thought I should see what’s going on over here.” 

“That’s perfect. I was actually going to ask —”

“Lily!” Benjy’s voice, as it often does, interrupts the conversation before it can even get started, and Lily finds herself picked up in a hug and swung around.

“Careful with the cookies!” Lily exclaims, though she’s laughing at the same time. The box is mostly safe, but once he sets her down, she puts it on the counter to be sure.

“Oh, man! You brought cookies?” He lifts his hand for a high five, which she meets with another laugh. “Has anyone ever told you how wonderful you are?”

“You have once or twice. Are these still good for three hot chocolates?”

“You know it,” Benjy says, grinning. “James, you got their stuff ready?” 

For a split second Lily turns to find something like annoyance spread across James’ features, but when she takes a closer look, it’s gone. 

His smile is back but not in the way it was before. 

“Yep,” he says, handing Lily a drink carrier. “Got it right here.”

"These have ruined me for other hot chocolate," Lily says, picking up the one she's claiming and taking a drink. "These are the best I've ever had. We're all obsessed with them."

James beams at this, his cheeks tinting a bit pink. “Thanks. Oh, I wanted to ask you earlier… Are you going to trivia night this weekend? We talked to Sirius about teaming up so we’d have enough people.”

"Yeah, I am," she says, holding the cocoa in one hand to stay warm. "I should warn you that I'm a little… competitive."

“So is my friend Remus, who works here,” James says. “But, just between us, I sort of set this whole thing up because he has a crush on Sirius.” 

“Boy’s got it bad!” Benjy shouts from over his headphones. 

"I knew Sirius was coming over here to visit someone!" Lily says victoriously.

“Benjy!” James shouts, a clearly forced smile on his face. “Didn’t you say you needed to go put that book behind the counter for your mother?” 

“Oh, you’re right!” Benjy says, slapping James on the shoulder. “She’ll kill me if I forget again. See you, Lily!”

"See you around," she says. Lily turns back to James. "Is it okay if I bring my friend Mary? She's Benjy's girlfriend and my best friend, so she might be able to reign me in a little bit."

“Can she reign Benjy in?” James asks before straightening up and turning red. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it like that. I know he’s your friend, and also dating your friend —”

"He can be a lot, but his heart is in the right place. Benjy is a good person to have on your side." Her smile is soft, but it's sincere. "He's not afraid to tell people when they're out of line."

“I just want this night to go well for Remus. He’s pretty shy until you can get to know him, and I feel like a group date is going to be more comfortable for him. I just don’t want him to be swallowed up by other people. Do I sound like a jerk?”

"No," Lily says, taking another sip while she thinks about it. "You're thinking about your friend. Benjy usually gets all sappy when Mary is around. They might actually spend all the breaks sneaking off. "

“That might work,” James admits, tucking his hands in his trouser pockets. “Benjy said Sirius doesn’t normally say yes to people. At least not all the time. Do you think he might like Remus back?”

"I'd have to see them in the same room to be sure, but he's always trying to be the one to come over here. Even though I was decorating all the cookies." 

“I enjoy seeing him. He’s funny.”

Lily lifts the cup. "Thanks again. I should get back before Sirius tells me I'm ditching work."

“Right, yeah,” James says, smiling. “Like I probably won’t see him in two hours asking for a refill.”

"Exactly. I'm working on a hot chocolate flavored icing that I'll send over with him later."

“I can’t wait to try it. See you, Lily.”

"Bye, James!"

It isn't until she's back at the bakery and behind the counter again, distributing the drinks to Marlene and Sirius, when she realizes what she should have asked him.

Is James the Prongs who writes her notes?

\--

_Dearest Doe,_

_I must admit, one of my favorite parts of working at the coffee shop has been our note trading. It has brought as much joy as the sugar cookies you provide._

_So you must have guessed how depressed I was when I got my bag of treats today and THERE WAS NO NOTE!!!!_

_DOE?!?!?!?_

_Are we having our first fight? If so, please accept this extra hot chocolate as my apology. If not, here’s a random extra hot chocolate._

_Also, please write back to me. I am so lonely without you._

_— Prongs_

_-_

_Prongs,_

_I didn't know my little notes could mean so much to you! My doodles are awful, but my penmanship is pretty good. I got the best handwriting grade in my second grade class, by the way._

_Honestly, I'll never say no to hot chocolate. You've turned me into a monster. I have to start drinking more water… once Christmas season is over._

_Hope this note made you smile at least a bit. A group of daycare kids cleared out our sugar cookies, so I'm sending you some classic chocolate chip. There's one with M &Ms if you're feeling fancy._

_Lots of love,_

_Doe_

-

_Doe,_

_Thank goodness we aren’t quarreling. I didn’t know what I would do if we were._

_Probably keep providing you with endless hot chocolates until we made up._

_Love the subtle brag about your handwriting. As you can see, I would have never gotten the best handwriting in elementary school. I’m surprised you can even read this, if I’m being honest._

_The cookies were wonderful. Send my regards to the daycare kids who didn’t touch them._

_It’s crowded here today at the Nook. So many people are doing last minute Christmas shopping. I haven’t even started. Have you?_

_— Prongs_

_-_

_Prongs,_

_Do I get more hot chocolate, even if we aren't fighting? Do you have one with extra chocolate?_

_Are you tired of being my tester yet? If not, there's some more icing for you to try. I don't think it's quite right, but I don't know what it's missing. Maybe more marshmallows?_

_I'm awful at gift giving. Anyway, I've managed to get something for pretty much everyone, except my sister. She's impossible to shop for because she thinks I'm sending some kind of awful message, even with the most innocent gifts. Any advice from my local bookseller?_

_Doe_

_-_

_Doe,_

_You can have as many hot chocolates as you would like. Don’t tell Sirius. Unless you are Sirius, then hi. But I don’t think that you are._

_Call it a stag’s intuition._

_Maybe get your sister one of those books to fill out where she gets to tell her own story. My mom did one for me once. It had questions in it about life experiences and things like that. I thought it was an odd gift then but not so much now._

_Your sister may like to write about herself. Who knows?_

_— Prongs_

_Ps. I never get tired of taste testing your icing. Send as much as you’d like._

_-_

_Prongs,_

_Sirius would never win best handwriting in second grade. He refused to write his last name on his papers all year because "there's only one Sirius."_

_Like a journal? She got married recently, so maybe she wants to get introspective. Can you send one over from the shop? I'll put some money in for it with this round of sweets._

_This batch is better. Let me know what you think._

_Doe_

-

_Doe,_

_I just died laughing at that Sirius fact. I admit, I don’t know him too well, but it sounds like him._

_Sort of like a journal! But with very specific questions. Like your own life story in your words. I’m sending this one over. Let me know what you think._

_Some people like writing about their own “legacy.” I don’t even think I have one of those yet, but some people have enough self importance to think so._

_Loved this batch. Would recommend to twenty friends._

_— Prongs_

_-_

_Prongs,_

_He's one of a kind._

_It's better than anything I was going to pick. I'll wrap it in nice paper and hope for the best._

_That handwriting award might be my legacy. Or the way I'm going to lead our team to victory at trivia this weekend. We all need to pick a quality team name._

_Thank you thank you! I convinced Sirius to make a whole batch of hot chocolate themed things, so we'll see how they sell._

_Doe_

-

_Doe,_

_I’m glad you like it. Hopefully your sister will too._

_And yes! We need a team name! Something that will strike fear in the hearts of our opponents. Or at least great confusion. We should call ourselves the Marauders or something of the sort._

_I would buy every hot chocolate themed treat from you. I’m certain they’ll sell well._

_— Prongs_

_-_

_Prongs,_

_Does that name strike fear? Does that tell them we will win? A Marauder is a land pirate. Should we commit to the theme?_

_I'm sending some for all of you. We had a few sales, but I'm hoping for a good post-work shopping rush._

_Doe_

-

_Doe,_

_Anything can strike fear with enough emphasis. But omg I love themes and committing to them. Don’t even joke. I will do it._

_This week is taking forever. How many days is it until trivia again? I’m stuck in this Nook void until then._

_— Prongs_

_-_

_Prongs,_

_When I commit to a theme, I commit. I'll show up in costume if I'm feeling it._

_Only a few more days! Christmas is coming, Prongs! Isn't the constant soundtrack making the whole season bright?_

_Enjoy some extra icing._

_Xoxo Doe_

-

_Doe,_

_PLEASE show up in a costume. Then I’ll know exactly who you are. It’ll be our own Cinderella moment._

_Christmas is coming, but this year feels so different for me. I see everyone else bustling around, being cheerful. And I’m just...not. I’m trying, but it’s hard._

_I don’t mean to unload this on you. Sometimes it’s easier to write it down than to say it aloud._

_Two days until trivia._

_Will we recognize each other?_

_— Prongs_

_-_

_Prongs,_

_Do you think you have a good guess about who I am? I guess the mystery can only go so far._

_I get it. I mean, I guess I don't really, but I do. Maybe._

_I love Christmas. It's this time of year when magic feels like it could be real. It feels like if the world was going to come together and do something great, this would be the time. It's like being a kid again, at least for a little while._

_I don't know if I can help, but I'm here. Do you need a Christmas pick-me-up?_

_Doe_

-

_Doe,_

_I think I might, but also I’m pretty bad at guessing games._

_I love Christmas too. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just hard to find much to be cheerful over this year._

_I’m hoping to get a tree this weekend. Assuming there are any good ones left. Any pointers for someone who has never picked out a tree on his own before?_

_— Prongs_

_-_

_Prongs,_

_I'm sorry things are rough this year. I don't know if I can make it any better, but I'll certainly try not to make it worse._

_You have hot chocolate skills and a bakery employee who is willing to make just about any icing you'd like. What kind would make you feel most cheerful?_

_There's a cute Christmas tree farm right outside of town! They usually have a good selection, especially of the smaller ones. I like the ones that have some character._

_Doe_

-

_Doe,_

_Lemon icing. That’s my favorite. It’s sort of untraditional, but my mom would make lemon cookies with lemon icing every year along with sugar cookies._

_I’ll let you know how my Christmas tree hunt goes! I’m planning on going after trivia. Which is TOMORROW!_

_Happy almost weekend!_

_See you tomorrow, Doe!_

_— Prongs_


	3. Snow

_You’re here, where you should be. Snow is falling as the carolers sing._

\--

“What if my brain freezes and I can’t come up with any of the answers. What if he thinks I’m dumb?”

“You’re overthinking this, Remus. You’re the smartest person I know.”

“Oh god. What if I know too many of the answers, and he thinks I’m a know-it-all?”

“He won’t.”

“But what if he does?”

James had to keep great focus not to roll his eyes for the thousandth time. It wouldn’t do for them to get stuck that way and cause him to crash his car. He knew he shouldn’t have let Remus go home during the two hours in between their shift being over and trivia starting. His friend had worked himself into a frenzy by the time James picked him up.

“Listen to me, Remus,” James says, turning down the music. “If he honestly thinks that of you, he’s a shitty person and not worth your time. But he won’t. Tonight will be _fine._ I’ll be there to help you out along the way. I’m your wingman, remember?”

"You said that," Remus says, doubt creeping into his tone. "But you've also been rereading that note that came with the last batch of cookies. Are you going to get distracted?"

“I’m never distracted,” James says, refusing to look at Remus directly. “I promise, I will stay by your side so long as you need me. We’d hate for Sirius to become infatuated with me instead, though, so try to be yourself. Give him a few of those condescending looks you give me, and I’m sure he’ll fall for you.”

Maybe Remus doesn't realize how ironic it is when he levels one of those looks toward James.

"Okay, okay." Remus breathes out loudly. He looks out the window. "The point is to have fun. If he's annoyed by me when we're having fun, we're not a good match."

“Exactly!”

They’re pulling into the parking lot of the pub now, which is more crowded than normal. James attributes it to the theme and coming season. Everyone loves Christmas, so Christmas themed trivia is bound to be a hit. 

Still, when he has to park all the way in the back, James can’t help but be a bit miffed. 

“Benjy says they’re already inside,” Remus says, looking down at his phone. “We’re making a late entrance.” 

“We’re not late,” James tells him, unbuckling. “We’re right on time.” 

“What if the seating is all wrong?” Remus presses, stepping out of the car. For someone so nervous, he’s speed walking toward the door. James has to sprint to keep up with him. “What if there’s not a seat next to him?” 

“Then I’ll make you one,” James says, grabbing Remus by the arm and forcing him to stop and look at him. “Now, will you please calm down? Deep breaths, okay? You can’t go in there like this.”

James mimics a breathing exercise he’d seen his mother do once for yoga, and Remus follows him. When he’s exhaled completely, he looks more grounded.

“You’ve got this,” James says, gripping Remus’ shoulders. “You’re Remus fucking Lupin. With your cardigans and your whole... _hipster_ look that you’ve got going on…” 

“You have no idea where you’re going with this, do you?” Remus deadpans. 

“Not a clue,” James admits. “The point is, you’re amazing. Now, get in there and stun that boy with your knowledge of trivial information!”

Remus runs a hand over his face, but he continues purposefully to the front door. Someone opens it for them.

This pub is perhaps the first place James has seen this season that rivals the bakery for Christmas spirit. There are bursts of shining lights, several trees, and decorations plastered on nearly every flat surface. It's amazing that anyone can move around at all, but several people mill about, going from the bar to their seats with full drinks.

Sirius pops up from his spot at a booth near the corner and waves to them. "Oi! Over here!"

Benjy is sitting across from Sirius with his arm over a girl's shoulders. She's leaning into him, clearly comfortable and used to this position. Lily sits beside her with an empty spot on her other side at the end of the long booth. Sirius moves back into his seat, which is next to two other girls. James recognizes one of them as the other employee in the bakery.

Remus meets his eyes briefly and then sits on the edge of the bench with Sirius. 

"We won't bite," Sirius says, grinning. "Unless -"

"Sirius!" The girl next to him, the one from the bakery, hits his arm.

Sirius rolls his eyes. "Come on in closer. Evans doesn't want anyone to hear our answers."

"We play to win, Black."

“You’re in good hands then,” James says, sliding in next to Lily. Probably too close, but it gives him a chance to look at the freckles dusting her nose as she turns to grin at him. “Remus is the reigning champ here.” 

Rule number one of being a wingman: hype up your friend.

“Really?” Sirius asks, looking impressed. 

“Oh, yeah,” Remus nearly squeaks. James can tell by the softening of Sirius’ features that he finds it adorable. “I’m sort of a dumpster of useless knowledge.” 

_Okay,_ James thinks, _so he called himself a dumpster._ Not exactly a swoon worthy comparison, but Sirius laughs, so maybe the joke lands better than expected.

"Lily's been studying for this her whole life," the girl next to Benjy says. "She's been quoting Christmas movies since we were in preschool."

"Only because Rudolph was our class show," Lily says.

"I caught you humming that song about the island of misfit toys in the supply room," the girl from the bakery says. 

"And," Benjy says, "you made us put up a tree in the dorm even though we were leaving before Christmas."

"Guilty as charged," Lily says with an eye roll. "I'm sorry I want us to have a good holiday and maybe win some money for our tab."

"Well, I don't mind running it up," Sirius adds.

“Here, here,” James cheers. 

He tries not to feel too pathetic over the giddiness he feels when he and Sirius share a grin. 

“I’m Mary, by the way,” the girl next to Lily says, leaning across the table to introduce herself to James and stick out her hand. “Benjy’s girlfriend. Lily’s told me _so_ much about you, James.” 

“Did she?” James asks, smiling at Lily. “Did she mention how hopeless I was at grocery shopping?”

"No," Mary says "That's not the word she used for you at all. She was right about how cute -"

"What does everyone want to drink?" Lily interrupts. "I think I'll get a cider to start."

"Anyone want to split the round with me?" Benjy asks. "We have a few more than our usual group today."

“Me, me, me!” the girl from the bakery chimes in, practically bouncing. 

“This is Marlene, by the way,” Sirius says, nodding this head towards her. “She’s already had like twenty candy canes before we even got here, so she’s hyped up on sugar.” 

"Speaking of, I have a secret stash of cookies under my coat." Lily pats the shape of what must be a box on her lap. "I don't know how they feel about outside food, but I thought it was good to bring them in case we need some trivia inspiration."

“Oooh, what kind?” the girl next to Marlene asks. 

"A good mix so we could all have our favorites. We should get a good round of answers in, though, before we treat ourselves."

"This is Dorcas," Marlene says, echoing Sirius from only a few minutes ago. She puts an arm around her waist and kisses her cheek, still almost bouncing in her seat.

“I’m James and this is Remus,” James says, noticing that Remus is too busy in a hushed conversation with Sirius to properly introduce himself. 

He shares a small smile with Lily at their progress. 

“It’s going well, yeah?” he asks, lowering his voice over the noise of the crowd. 

She knows right away to glance toward Sirius and Remus. Lily nods, looks back to him, and starts, "Yeah, I think so. They -" 

Her eyes then go past him and her expression looks more serious.

The announcer is starting to speak about rules and other things James doesn’t care for much. Everyone else turns their attention to the stage, but he keeps his locked on Lily. 

It’s like he has tunnel vision around her.

"I can write the answers," Lily volunteers. "Maybe you can run them to the scorekeeper at the end of each round?" She nudges James with her arm.

They're crammed into a small booth, so their closeness could be somewhat accidental. Once she makes contact, she doesn't pull her arm away.

That doesn't feel entirely accidental. 

“Sure,” he agrees. 

Remus’ head snaps around, eyes wide. “Are they starting already?” 

“Mmm,” James hums. “Distracted, are you?” 

He meets his friend’s glare with a smirk, chin resting on his hand. James doesn’t miss the way Sirius’ arm goes across the back of the booth, resting across Remus’ shoulders. 

Remus doesn’t miss it either, based on the way his face turns red. 

“Stop,” he hisses at James. 

“I didn’t say anything,” James says, smiling impossibly wider. 

“They’re already asking the first question!” Marlene says, clapping her hands together. 

James refuses to break eye contact with Remus, just for the luxury of being a little shit, when the voice of the announcer booms around them. 

“Alright, we’re going to start with an easy one! In the song ‘Frosty the Snowman,’ what brings Frosty to life?” 

James winks at Remus’ flustered face before turning back to Lily. 

“An old silk hat,” he says easily.

"Yes," Lily says, already halfway through writing the answer. She looks up at him once she’s finished and their arms bump again.

"In the claymation 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,' who is Rudolph's father?"

"Comet!" Marlene exclaims.

"No," Lily says, her pencil posed over the paper. "That's the reindeer games coach. His dad is Donner."

"And Mrs. Donner!" Mary adds. "Since his mom doesn't even get her own name."

“Lily’s right,” James says. 

How many times had he watched that movie growing up? It had been his favorite. He watched it every year with his dad as a tradition. 

He hadn’t even thought about it this year. Why did he not think about it? How many other things will he forget about because he isn’t being constantly reminded of them?

He swallows and it tastes like acid. 

“James…” Remus starts, immediately tuned in to James’ shift. The concerned expression is there again. He wishes he’d stop looking at him like that. 

“I’m fine,” he says. Again. “Just hungry.” 

Sirius is looking at him with a tilted head. He doesn’t buy it, but he doesn’t press. James is thankful. 

“We ordered some appetizers,” Sirius says. “They should be here soon.” 

“What beverage company has been using Santa in their advertisements since 1931?” 

“Coca-Cola,” James and Lily chime together. 

He looks at her and his smile settles back into place naturally. “Know it all,” he teases.

"I wear that title proudly," Lily answers as she lifts her chin and lifts the pencil from the paper with a flourish. "Need a cookie to hold you over for the nachos?" 

“That sounds amazing.”

Lily starts to sort through the box and presents a wrapped yellow treat. "I packed this one for you. Didn't you say your favorite was lemon?" 

James blinks. “It is.”

Is Lily the person behind Doe? 

He would be lying if he didn’t say he desperately wants her to be. He feels like she is. Plus, he remembers mentioning his love for lemon flavored things to Doe, but he’s also professed his love for a lemon flavored cupcake in front of Lily, so it’s likely she remembered from that. 

Still, his heart pounds.

He takes the cookie and stares at it for a moment. It’s a lemon shaped Christmas star with icing carefully decorated across the top. For a strange moment, he feels homesick. Or maybe it’s just his mother that he’s missing. 

He didn’t think he’d be getting any lemon cookies this year, so he takes a slow bite to savor it. 

Everyone else is busy chatting and not paying them any attention, so he doesn’t feel so embarrassed when he looks at Lily like a child on Christmas morning. 

“Thank you,” he says. “This is amazing.”

"Sirius baked it," Lily says with a wide smile, though he can tell that she's proud of herself. "I played around with some lemon icing recipes I found online. This one was my favorite."

“It’s incredible.”

“What was the well-known Christmas carol that became the first song ever broadcast from space in 1965?”

“Jingle Bells,” James says, taking another bite of his cookie.

“Are you sure?” Remus asks, his brow knitting in the way he does when he isn’t entirely certain. He can’t stand not knowing something. 

James rolls his eyes. “I’m sure.”

His dad had made a big deal about it in one of his rants stemming from his fascination with radios. James had only been half listening at the time, but he remembers his dad's excitement over the idea of broadcasting into space. it was as if he had been the astronaut to hear Jingle Bells. He had actually teared up, his dad. 

James wishes Fleamont were still around to tell more stupid stories. He would listen to them more intently now. He would ask for them like a child begging for a bedtime story. 

"I think I remember my dad saying something about it," Lily says, writing down his response. "He likes random trivia almost as much as I do."

"Food!" Benjy says from the other end of the bench as a server comes to their table with several plates. 

James doesn’t realize how hungry he is until food is in front of him. These days, he isn’t the best at remembering to feed himself. It’s something he doesn’t want to admit, because it makes him feel like a barely functioning adult.

His mother used to send him texts reminding him to eat. 

He sets alarms now. 

“I’m starving,” he says, taking a bit of everything. 

“Did you eat lunch today?” Remus asks, watching him fill his plate. 

“Yes, Mother,” James chimes, throwing his voice like a young schoolboy. 

"We can always order more if we need it," Benjy says, also helping himself.

Lily looks up from their paper, where she writes the answer to a question James missed while filling his plate. She meets his eyes and grins for a second before stealing one of the potato skins from his plate. She takes a bite and is still smiling like a kid who got an extra dessert. 

"Thanks, James."

“Gotta keep our scribe fed,” he jokes.

From next to her, Mary laughs shortly and offers a loaded nacho to Benjy.

The rest of the evening passes quickly. James can’t remember eating so much in his life. He also can’t remember laughing so hard in a very long time. Even Benjy starts to rub off on him, and they share a fist bump over a crude joke.

Maybe it’s the beer. 

Maybe it’s the Christmas spirit finally sinking in. 

When they're announced as the winners, their table erupts in cheers, and Remus looks stupidly relieved. James makes sure to tell him so. 

“Here you go,” their waitress says, passing around their envelopes with their prizes. “A ticket each to the light display downtown, and a free meal from here. Good till after the New Year.”

“I’ve never been to the light display,” Remus says, examining his ticket. 

“Really?” Marlene asks. “It’s amazing! I’m sure you’d love it. Dorcus and I went last year.”

Dorcus grins. “It was our first date.”

“Do you want to go?” Sirius asks. 

“To-together?” Remus asks, reverting back into a stuttering mess. 

“Yeah,” Sirius says. “We can go now. If you don’t have anything else to do tonight?”

“I don’t have anything to do,” Remus tells him. “I’d love to go.”

Sirius smiles, and it’s charming enough to fit into a fairytale book. “Awesome,” he says, before turning to Lily. “Do you think you can find another ride home, Evans?”

“I can take her,” James says quickly. He looks at Lily. “I mean... if you’re okay with that. I don’t mind. Remus rode with me. Since he is going to be taken care of, I have room.”

"Oh, I'm okay with it," Lily says, the envelope still held in her fingers like it's a more valuable prize. "But if it's out of your way, I can -"

"I'm really tired," Mary says, adding a loud yawn for emphasis. 

"We can -"

James notices Mary elbow her boyfriend before he can finish that sentence.

"Yeah," Benjy amends, "I better get Mary home. She can be like Cinderella after midnight."

"She is a princess," Lily says.

"You're damn right." Mary wraps Lily in a tight hug and pulls away to hold onto Benjy's arm. "Have fun!"

Lily waves to them as well as Marlene and Dorcas, who say that they can walk back to Dorcas' apartment. Once Sirius and a thoroughly smitten Remus disappear out the door, Lily turns to James again.

He doesn't notice quite how close they are to each other until everyone else is gone.

"Thanks for the ride," Lily says. "Are you also tired?"

“No,” he says, smiling. He’s _wired_ from being so close to her. “Not at all. You?”

"Not really. Would you want to go look at the lights? There's a few good neighborhoods we could drive through, or we could take a walk through town."

James grins. He sure it’s brighter than any light display in town. “I’d love to.”

\--

Mary should be proud of her.

She had the courage, if it can be called that, to ask James if he wanted to spend more time with her.

And he said yes. 

Without hesitation. With a grin that could have replaced the star at the top of the tree in the center of the town square. 

She wasn't reading too much into the signals they sent each other all night and in their other interactions. 

Part of her wants to ask the obvious question: Is this a date?

Another part of her is louder. 

It doesn't matter if it is. That information wouldn't change the fact that she's in the front seat of his car. It wouldn't change whether she wants to be here. She wants to look at the Christmas lights and she wants to do it with him, as friends or…

Something else.

Lily covers a shiver at the thought by putting her hands in front of the vents. 

James has already told her that the season is hard. He has enough to worry about, and she can try to help. She's not going to make it complicated or weird with confessions or possible misunderstandings if she can help it.

They were talking to each other all night. Laughing between questions, stealing food from each other (though she did most of the stealing), and sneaking in bits of cookie while they waited for points to be tallied. 

If everyone else is off with someone else on this December night, she can spend it with someone she likes as company.

"Down this street," Lily directs, pointing to a corner. "Here is where they usually have the best lights."

“Wanna park?” he asks. “Or will the cold bother you?”

If Mary was here, she would have a clever comment about staying warm. But Lily isn't Mary, so she tugs her hat down to make sure it's covering her ears. "I'm good. Let's walk. It’s a nice night too.”

James finds a parking spot at the end of the street, and Lily tries not to swoon at the ease with which he parks. Honestly, it’s just parking, but he makes it look easier than any attempt she’s ever made at it. Plus, his hand across her seat when he backs up is a bonus. 

He smells nice. Like pine almost. 

“I’ve never actually done this before,” he admits when they’re side by side on the sidewalk. “Gone looking at lights like this.”

"I haven't done it since I was little." Lily tucks her hands in her pockets and starts down the sidewalk. He follows by her side, matching his longer strides to hers. "My mom would drive me and my sister around to find the best places for a few nights. Then, once we found all the spots and my dad got off work, we'd drive around and drink hot chocolate and listen to Christmas music. We haven't done it in years, but..."

“It sounds like fun,” James says. She wonders if it’s the cold that’s making them walk so close together or something else entirely. “It’s funny, the things we stop doing when we aren’t kids anymore.”

"What's something you want to do again this year?"

“Hmm,” James muses, looking up towards the sky. “Probably... wake up extremely early, like I did as a kid. Not waste the day away sleeping.”

Lily laughs and lets herself brush her arm against his. A second later, she takes the hand closest to him out of her pocket so it not-so-accidentally bumps against James'. 

"I wasted so many Christmas mornings as a teenager like that. I could give you a wake up call, but I can't promise that it won't be a horribly off key version of Mariah Carey."

James laughs and it echoes around them. “Not gonna lie, I’d probably love that. I’ll have to give you my number before we leave just so I can hear it.”

"I may have woken up Mary that way one November first after a Halloween sugar high sleepover. Hopefully you appreciate it a little more," Lily says, remembering. "Have you been able to try some Christmas recipes after we shopped? Besides your hot chocolate, of course."

“Not yet, no,” he says as they pass a house lit completely up. They stop to admire it for a bit. “I’m afraid I’m not actually that good at cooking. I feel like I’m in a bit over my head.”

"I'm not the best cook either. Mom says I'm too impatient for it." 

“My mom never enjoyed sharing the kitchen, so I guess I never learned. I watched, but apparently I don’t learn that way.”

"My sister can cook. Then I went to college where there's a dining hall, and she moved out. I guess I'll have to learn at some point." Lily pointed to the next house, where the lights flashed different colors. "Look at that one!"

“I wonder how much work goes into decorating like this,” James wonders as they move further down the street. 

"I don't usually let myself look at the lights in the daytime. It gives away some of their secrets and takes away some of the magic." She reaches out to put a hand on his arm to stop him in front of the house. 

“Is your sister older?”

"Just by two years. You're an only child?"

“I am,” he says, keeping his eyes on the lights. “My parents had me later in life. I always wanted siblings, though.”

"They're okay." 

Lily lets the silence sit between them for a few seconds as they watch the house. Further down the block, the sound of faint Christmas music plays. The night is clear and crisp, perfect for getting into the spirit and looking at lights. 

And then, like a perfectly choreographed moment in a cheesy movie, it starts to snow.

Her smile stretches her cheeks to their limit. Lily tilts back her head to look at the sky and puts a gloved hand out to catch some of the first flakes.

"It's snowing," she says, a little unnecessarily. 

“Oh - wow,” James says, following her movements. Snow is starting to lightly fall in his hair, sticking there, and Lily has the sudden urge to reach out and touch it. 

Lily closes the fingers of her outstretched hand to resist.

"It's perfect," Lily says, following the paths of a few snowflakes. "Do you…" She looks back to him and again swallows the urge to brush the snow from his hair. "Do you need to go home?"

He looks over at her, shaking his head. “Not really. There’s no one to really go home to, you know? Do you?”

"No," she says quietly. "No one really minds if I stay out. I wasn't sure how you felt about driving with us not knowing the forecast or - or…" She shakes her head, trying to get a grasp on what could easily turn into rambling. "Do you need to get warm?"

James laughs. “I’m _fine,_ Lily. Really. No need to worry about me. I’m enjoying your company.”

"Okay. Good." Her fingers tingle with either cold or excitement at the fact that he doesn't want to leave either. "Let's go to the end of the block and then back to the car? We should take some pictures too."

He grins, making her feel warm to the tips of her fingers and toes. 

“Alright, Evans.”

\--

James’ hands tighten around his steering wheel until his knuckles whiten. 

It seemed like a good idea when he and Lily decided to stay out a bit longer and enjoy the snow and Christmas scenery. In fact, he still doesn’t regret it. He doesn’t think he could ever regret anything that lets him spend more time with her. 

They just hadn’t anticipated the impending amount of snowfall. 

James swallows nervously as he tries to make out the silhouette of the road. It’s completely covered by now, and his wipers are working overtime to keep it off his windshield. 

“How would you feel,” he starts slowly, praying to God that he doesn’t come off as a creep, “about going back to my house until this passes?”

"Is it close?" Lily asks.

“It’s just down the road,” he says, slowing down even more. “I’m sure I can make it there okay, but your house is still a good twenty minutes away without the snow. Who knows how long it would take to get there now.”

"That’ll work. I'll text my parents to let them know I'm somewhere safe."

“Okay.” 

He feels like he should apologize because it’s in his nature, but he knows it’s dumb. He didn’t cause the snow and he certainly can’t control it, but he doesn’t want her to feel stuck. 

It takes him less than ten minutes to get to his house, but it feels like an eternity. He didn’t realize how dark and dreary the front looks until he spent the evening looking at other people’s Christmas light displays. He doesn’t even have a tree sitting in his front window to welcome him home. 

Lily probably finds it depressing.

“Are you ready?” she asks, shivering for effect before she pushes the door open and goes for his front door, her boots doing surprisingly well on the snow slicked driveway. 

James follows behind slowly. Partly because he’s not wearing the right shoes and he doesn’t want to fall. Partly because he’s dumbstruck by her. 

He watches as she stomps her feet on his front porch mat, attempting to get the snow off, and doesn’t realize that he is just standing there staring at her in the snow until she looks at him and smiles.

“Sorry,” he says, moving to open the door and hoping she mistakes the blush on his face for the cold. “It’s probably a mess in here, by the way. Not much Christmas cheer to be found.”

“It’s warm,” Lily says, pulling off her hat. “That’s what matters.”

Her dark red hair holds some static as she runs a hand over it to calm what the hat did. With her other hand, she shoves the hat into her pocket and undoes the front of her coat. 

It takes him a minute to find the light, which is silly because he fucking lives here, but he’s so nervous over Lily being in his house that he’s forgotten how to properly function. 

It’ll probably take him a moment to get adjusted. 

“I’m afraid all I’ve got are those instant hot chocolate packets,” he says, walking into the kitchen where she follows him. “But it’s better than -”

A quick shuffling of chaotic feet and the sound of something like a small motor catch him off guard. Though he should have expected it, he nearly jumps a foot in the air when his cat comes out of nowhere and launches himself onto James’ shoulder, yowling in his ear for more food. 

“ - nothing.”

“Oh my God,” Lily says, though he can see that she’s grinning like the whole thing is very amusing. “You can feed the cat first. We had our fair share of cookies at trivia.” 

James pinches the bridge of his nose. “Sorry about him. He’s very demanding.”

“He missed you.” 

James realizes that he’s still standing there with a cat on his shoulder and doesn’t think it’s possible for him to feel any dumber than he does at this moment. 

“Nah,” he says, ripping the cat off his shoulders and tossing him on the ground. “He’s just an asshole of a roommate.”

“What’s his name?”

“Sir Purr,” James tells her, filling up Purr’s cat bowl. The cat watches with vested interest, purring loudly. “I named him when I was like... ten. It’s just us two here now. Two bachelors.”

“We have some time since the snow doesn’t look like it’s letting up.” Lily shakes out her bangs and gets her hair back mostly to what it looked like before their walk. “Do you have any decorations packed away?”

“Um, yeah. In the hallway closet,” he says, pointing to direct her. Purr, apparently not as hungry as he led on, abandons his food as soon as James steps away to weave himself between his legs. 

“Does he like tinsel?” Lily asks, moving toward the closet. “I saw this Tiktok of a cat chasing it.” 

“Oh yeah,” James says. “He likes anything he can attack. Including me. You don’t have to decorate for me, though.”

“I’m not decorating,” she says. “ _We’re_ decorating. It'll be fun.”

_Fun._

Decorating with Lily instead of decorating by himself _does_ sound fun. James also knows that no matter how hard it will be to sort through the decorations his mother packed up a year ago, it will be so much harder to wake up on Christmas morning and _not_ see them. 

He drags out the giant green tub, pushing it toward the living room. Purr hops on top of the lid, enjoying the ride as James glares at him. 

“Santa isn’t going to put any wet food in your stocking with you acting like this,” he tells him, lifting him off the top. He runs off, bushy tailed, and attaches himself to the arm of the couch with wide eyes. 

Lily leans over to scratch between Sir Purr’s ears, which earns her a low, satisfied sound. 

“Please tell me he has his own stocking. There has to be somewhere for Santa to leave some cat toys.”

“He does,” James admits, sighing. He opens the box and pulls out a stocking with a cat wearing a Santa hat printed on the front. “It looks just like him too.”

Lily puts her hands under her chin and almost jumps in place. “I love it!”

Her excitement about everything - the snow, the decorations, even the silly stocking his dad bought for the cat years ago - is so genuine. Throughout the evening, since she made a declaration about Rudolph trivia and transitioned to nearly pouncing when she knew an answer, Lily has put less of a filter between whatever she must be thinking and what she does.

It’s refreshing to see someone being so honest about themselves. She isn’t hiding.

“What else is in there?”

“Um,” he says, pausing a bit before he starts pulling things out. It doesn't sting as much as it should to be looking at everything. He wonders if that’s normal. “A Christmas countdown snowman, a couple Santa figures because my mom was obsessed with collecting them, and…” He reaches to the bottom of the tub, where his favorite decoration is carefully placed. “A Christmas village set.”

“Perfect.” Lily takes a few steps across the room. Before he knows it, James catches the soft scent of vanilla, and she is standing only a foot or so away from him. “Where should we put it?”

He clears his throat, but the smell is lodged there so it does nothing to clear his head. 

“The village always goes on the coffee table in the living room. There’s a certain order to everything. The bakery can’t be next to the fire station, because the baker's wife cheated on him with the fire chief. It’s all very complicated.”

Lily laughs, but it sounds like kindness more than anything else. “Tell me all about it.” Gently, she picks up the village-sized bakery. “I can deal with complicated. I want it to be right.” 

James looks at her for a moment, not quite believing she’s real. Surely, she’s some sort of Christmas spirit sent here to make sure he doesn’t have a shitty holiday. 

She’s a gift, surely. 

He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve her. 

He smiles, accepting that he’s likely done nothing, and takes a seat next to her. 

“The bakery can go here,” he says, designating a spot for it. Lily sets it down with care. “And next to it…” He reaches down, pulling out the first thing his hand touches. He laughs when he sees what it is. “The coffee shop. How appropriate.”

“Maybe the baker’s wife will walk in there this year,” she says, taking out a roll of newspaper that holds some trees. She sets one down between the buildings. “Or they decide to hire a new counter girl who can go over to the coffeeshop on her breaks. She probably gets distracted flirting with the barista and leaves the cookies in a little too long.” 

“The barista will probably get so distracted flirting back that he spends all his time making hot chocolate to try to lure her back,” he adds, placing another building out on the table. 

“Do they write notes to each other? To pass the time between their meetings?”

It’s not some great revelation like he thought it would be when he finds out for sure who is behind the Doe notes. It’s not some heart stopping moment like he’s seen on television or read about in books. 

He had thought it would be Lily. He had hoped it would be Lily. 

But now that she’s here, saying it for certain, a calmness settles over him. As if he already knew. It’s more like waking up from a dream and settling into reality. He already knew, somewhere deep down, that she had been the one writing to him.

“They do,” he says softly, looking at her. “It helps him out so much during the week, he can’t even properly express it to her. It makes him feel less alone.”

Her fingers brush the back of his hand and then lay over it, so he knows the touch isn’t accidental. “No one should be alone on Christmas.” 

He isn’t sure who moves first. Likely it’s both of them, because that’s the type of people they’ve been to each other since they’ve met. 

They always find a way to meet in the middle. 

To cross distances for each other. 

No matter who moves first or if they move together, James shivers as their lips brush. 

She’s warmer than he expects her to be, considering they’ve been outside recently, but her warmth nips at him. Nudging and waking something within him and making him realize he’s alive in this moment. He’s even more aware of how his heart is pounding, her hand curled above it on the material of his shirt. 

He’s felt so very frozen these last few months and he allows her warmth to thaw him. He allows her to make him feel alive for the first time in a long time.

Like most things she does, at least from what he’s been around to determine, she doesn’t hesitate into the kiss. She kisses him fully, putting all of herself into it. Everything he breathes in after his heart unthaws is vanilla. 

It’s intoxicating. 

He moves his hands to her jawline, cupping and tilting her face into a more comfortable angle. He finds that this position makes her sigh into his mouth, and he likes the sound so much that he mimics it. 

There’s no urgency to the kiss, no clawing feeling of need to get closer than where they are currently, but he still finds himself fighting the urge to breathe when it creeps back up on him. 

_Not now,_ he thinks. _Just let me have this for a few moments longer. Please. Just a bit longer._

But because he is alive, he needs the air and so does she. He allows himself the distance when the time comes to pull away. 

“That was…” James starts, letting his forehead rest against Lily’s. He can’t think of a word to describe what happened. She’s left him quite inarticulate.

“Perfect,” Lily says. “It was perfect.”

It’s the same word she used for the little village shops only minutes ago, but her voice isn’t the same this time. He hears it and feels it as a breath against his lips in the same moment. Her fingers find his hair and move so slowly through it that he can’t decide if he wants her to hurry or keep them there forever. 

Without warning, she kisses him again. 

Once, short and sweet, squarely on the lips. A second time, closer to the corner of his mouth. When they’re close like his, he can taste and hear and feel and see her reactions, all at the same time.

His heart does something he’s never felt before when she leans her forehead against his again. 

“Perfect,” he repeats, still willing his mind to work. He takes a few deep breaths to steady himself before looking at her. He smiles. “Want to do it again?”

\--

_Yes._

That has to be the most important word of the night. She’s said it several times, meaning it every time, but it doesn’t lose its power. 

Did she want to walk around and see the lights?

Yes.

Did she want to go back to his house and spend more time together when offered the chance?

Yes.

Did she want to kiss him?

Yes.

Did she want to do it again?

Absolutely yes. 

Over and over again if she could. 

And she could.

Several kisses and giggles later, they managed to set up most of the village. They put up the rest of the decorations from the box. She dangled some tinsel in front of Sirr Purr and laughed with her whole body when he chased after it. 

She kissed James again.

Yes led them around the house and up the stairs. Yes had her memorizing his skin and reactions, even when they probably should have gone to sleep. Yes had her fumbling around in the dark when she woke up in the middle of the night in an unfamiliar place, but yes also had her finding a path back to his bed. 

Yes had her pressing a kiss to his sleeping jaw and fitting her head against his shoulder to fall back asleep.

When she wakes up, her position hasn’t changed. Her arm instinctively tightens around his middle as she shifts. She stretches a little, as much as she can without really moving, but she doesn’t want to give up the spot against him.

_Her spot,_ Lily’s mind says, a little dizzy at the thought.

With the morning sunlight coming in through the curtains, Lily kisses the line of James’ jaw again. “Morning,” she says, unsure if he’s awake enough to hear her.

It doesn’t matter.

The greeting is for her benefit almost as much as it is for his. 

He groans sleepily, adjusting to the morning sun and nuzzling the side of her cheek with his nose. 

James has to feel her smile. 

“Morning,” he says, his voice groggy. He stretches and she shifts with him before his arms wind around her again. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mhm,” she hums. Lily moves so her lips vibrate against his neck. “Did you?”

“Better than I have in a long time.”

“Good.” She imitates him by nuzzling her nose against his neck, hoping it sends the same sparks to his toes. “Thanks for asking me to stay.” 

“Thanks for agreeing to stay so we didn’t end up on the side of the road,” he says. His fingers trace the curve of her spine, making it tingle. “This is much better, I think.”

“Much better than the side of the road.” She nudges her foot against his under the blankets. “Do you think we’re snowed in?”

“I’m not sure,” he says, squinting at the window. She wonders how much he can see without his glasses. “I don’t really want to get up to find out, but breakfast also sounds nice.”

"Sirr Purr should bring us some," Lily mumbles against his neck. "Then we wouldn't have to get up."

“He’s an asshole. He lives to be served, not to serve others. I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t busted in here yet.”

As if on cue, a pitiful meow comes from the door. 

Lily lifts her head to look at the crack of the open door. A few seconds later, the cat pounces onto the bed and steps over their legs. He stands, observes them, and meows again.

"Good morning, Sirr," Lily says. She moves her hand to scratch behind his ears again. 

“Mmmph,” James groans, head buried into his pillow. “I’m jealous over a cat.”

"Why would you be jealous?" Lily asks, keeping up the scratching when it earns her a pleased purr. "I slept next to you all night. Practically on top of you, really."

“Because I’m selfish and spoiled and don’t like to share. If my mom was around, she’d agree with me.”

"Aw, it's all right, Potter. I'm here." Lily tilts her chin up and kisses him. 

Her heart skips.

She curls her fingers into his hair and smiles against his mouth. Sirr Purr makes an annoyed sound when she moves her leg to the other side of James' hip. Lily pulls away, her hair framing his face as she grins down at him. "Is this better?"

“Much better,” he says, grinning boyishly at her. “Though you probably shouldn’t spoil me, if we’re being honest. I’ll get used to it and pester you forever.”

"You have permission to pester me if I get to do this." Lily ducks down to kiss him again.

Is she being too much?

His grin tells her that she isn't. 

"We're going to be absolutely annoying at work, aren't we?"

“Probably no more than usual,” James says, laughing. “At least for me. Remus is always having to call me down.”

"And Sirius went with him on that date last night," Lily says. "So we won't be the only insufferable ones. Do you think they got snowed in too?"

James’ eyes widen comically at this. “I had forgotten all about them! Oh my God. I bet you anything they did. Should we text them?”

"I have a better idea." Lily reaches for her phone on the bedside table and rolls off of him. She sits so their hips are touching and tugs on his arm to make him sit up with her. Ruffling her hair to take away the worst of her bed head, she grins at their image in her front facing camera. "We should send them this."

James smiles, looking handsomely disheveled. When Lily clicks the camera button, they look like they’ve done much worse than snuggling through the night. 

“Remus will die,” James says, over her shoulder. “Absolutely die.” 

"Then we'll know if Sirius is with him, since I sent it to him." 

For good measure, she answers Mary's text with the picture too.

As soon as it's marked as sent, her phone buzzes with an incoming picture. She clicks over to it to see Sirius with an easy grin and Remus with pink across the high points of his cheeks.

She flips the phone toward James.

"And there they are! Thank God Marlene is covering the store today."

“Where are they?” James asks, squinting at her phone. “Oh my god. They’re in bed together. I say like we aren’t also in bed together. I wonder if that’s Sirius’ place?”

"They aren't the same sheets from high school, so I can't be sure." 

Lily turns her camera on them again and snaps a picture when she kisses James' cheek.

In the photo, he's beaming wide enough that she knows she isn't alone in the way she feels right now. Quickly, she moves her thumbs over the screen to make it the background photo on her phone. "Here," she shows him. "This one's for me." 

“Can I?” he asks, taking the phone from her. 

She watches as he types in his name and number in her contact section and then sends himself the photo. His phone buzzes from next to her, and when she hands it to him, she watches him go through the same steps she just did. 

“There,” he says, laying back with one hand behind his head. She has to physically pull her eyes away from him to see them on his phone’s background. “We match.”

"I love it."

Sirr Purr sneaks under her hand again and meows until she pets him. If she listens carefully, she can catch the faint road noise from outside as the houses around them start to wake.

James is still smiling at her when she looks at him again.

She could get used to this.

"Are we ready to brave the snow? Or do you want to stay in bed a little longer?"

“Let’s stay like this for a bit longer,” he says, reaching out to brush some of her hair from her face. He laces the end of it around his fingers. “Just for a little while.”

"Okay," she agrees, reaching across him to set down her phone. She leans into the proximity, fitting herself against him like when they woke up. "This is the best snow day I've had in a long time."

Sirr Purr makes a frustrated growl and jumps off the bed. 

“Me too,” he says, pausing and shutting his eyes for a long moment. If he weren’t still twirling her hair around his finger, she would have suspected him of being asleep. In the next moment, he opens his eyes and they’re soft. He smiles at her warmly. “Tell me about Christmas at the Evans house.”

"Well," she says, keeping her voice low and steady despite the way he manages to make her heart beat furiously. "It's the one day of the year when I don't mind waking up before six in the morning."

\--

James gets to work Monday morning somehow both early and heavily distracted. 

He’s been in a Lily Evans induced fog since she left his house after spending not one but _two_ nights. They hadn’t done much, save for getting him a Christmas tree and watching old claymation Christmas classics together and eating Chinese takeout. 

It had been nice to have another person in the house. To have someone around the corner waiting for him. He had almost forgotten what it felt like, to exist near another person in that way. 

Waking up next to her had also been quite nice. 

His whole bed smells like vanilla now.

It almost made him feel helpless on Sunday when she left. He’s got a whole slew of text messages he can scroll through to see that she’s very much present, but it’s not the same. 

He hopes he can manage to sneak away at some point today to go see her. 

James is propped up against the counter and daydreaming when his clouded over eyes finally register that there are two figures in front of the shop. He regains focus to see a very comfortable looking Remus and Sirius chatting. Sirius is propped up against the glass in a manner far more easy going than anything Remus can produce, but James can tell by the way his friend’s smile reaches his eyes that he’s smitten. 

Christ, he may be in _love_ with the way he’s looking at Sirius.

After several long moments in their own little world, Sirius pushes himself off the window, hands still in his jacket pockets, and kisses Remus once. Then once more. And then again. 

James is beginning to wonder if he’ll have to break them up when Remus finally manages to wave goodbye. His cheeks are pink when he opens the door, but James knows it’s not from the cold. 

Sirius gives James a wave as he heads to the bakery, and James returns it while keeping his smirk set on Remus. 

“Well, well, well,” James says. “Someone certainly had fun this weekend. Remus Lupin, is that a love bite on your neck?”

Remus starts to reach for a spot on his neck but changes the course of his hand at the last second to scratch behind his ear. "Don't even start with me, James Potter," Remus says. "I saw that picture Lily sent. What are you hiding under your collar?"

“Her scarf,” James answers, completely unfazed. “She left it at my house, so I’m going to return it to her when I drop off the hot chocolate.”

"I need coffee." Moving behind the counter, Remus starts the espresso machine. He puts his elbows on the counter. "Things must be going well with Lily."

“They are,” James says, smiling at the mention of her name. “And Sirius? How was it? All jokes aside.”

"Good," Remus says. He rubs the back of his neck self-consciously, but the blush doesn't return. "It was good. We're, uh, going out again this week."

“That’s great! Did you guys end up at his house this weekend?”

"For one night. With the snow and everything…" Remus shrugs. "He lives in his own place, but I went back once the roads were clear so my mom won't worry so much. She likes to know where I am during school breaks."

“My mom is - _was_ like that too,” James says, swallowing. His heart skips, but doesn’t sink quite like it did before today. Before Remus can give him one of his scrutinizing looks, he asks, “But that’s great, right? You really seem to like him. You don’t fall for people easily.”

"Yeah," Remus says. He still eyes James carefully, but when he doesn't react, Remus continues. "I like him. He's funny and far too clever for his own good." He smiles, probably remembering something from the weekend. 

“Far too clever for his own good sounds like your type,” James says, snorting. 

"You're completely smitten with Lily at this point, aren't you?"

“Yeah. I - I like her a lot, Remus.”

"I thought so." Remus adds some creamer as he makes himself a cup. "I think it's good for you. You look… lighter."

“I feel lighter. That’s a good way of putting it.” James pauses for a moment, nearly letting himself slip into a redheaded daydream before shaking his head. “Is it bad we’re so smitten so soon?”

"I blame the Christmas spirit. People are always falling all over each other in those holiday movies."

“Tis the damn season,” James says, pushing himself off the counter and preparing the drink carrier. “Well, I’m going to return a scarf and make a trade. You want anything?”

"Can you ask for one of their cranberry scones? Sirius had some extras in his apartment this weekend and got me hooked." Remus leans back against the counter and takes a drink from his mug. "We shouldn't be busy for awhile. I can handle it."

“Alright, I’ll try not to get too distracted.” 

The air is cold two days before Christmas, but James feels warm as he walks to the bakery. Maybe it’s his heart working overtime at the thought of Lily warming him or the quick way his feet are carrying him to her. 

Or maybe it’s just the extra layer of her scarf around his neck. Most likely that’s it and he’s being a dramatic sap.

When he enters, it’s to find Lily behind the counter. 

“Hey,” he greets, unable to stop his grin. “Did you decorate even more since I was last here? I swear there’s more. It’s a regular winter wonderland.”

"There's only a few days left. I have to take advantage of it.” Lily puts one hand on the display case, her cheek twitching to break her put-on serious expression. "How can I help you?"

“I have a craving for something sweet,” he says, leaning against the counter. “Any suggestions?”

"You're in a bakery." Lily taps the top of the case. "Do you like anything you see?"

“Maybe,” he says. “But it’s not in the case, and it’s not for sale.”

Lily’s teeth capture her lower lip before she covers her mouth to hide what has to be another smile. “I can take my lunch at one. What can I give you before that in exchange for those hot chocolates?”

“Any more lemon cookies?”

"Of course." She ducks down to take a pack she kept in the back. "Just for you."

“You’re amazing,” James says, taking the cookies and beaming. “Have I told you that?”

"Maybe once or twice, but I'm like Sirr Purr. I never get tired of hearing it."

James is fishing a cookie out of the bag when the door to the kitchen opens and Sirius comes out with a tray full of new cookies. 

“Hey, Evans. These are cool and ready for the display. Do you mind setting them out? I assume you won’t burn the store down doing that?”

"You're the one who set off the last smoke alarm," Lily says, taking the tray from him. "Plus, James is supervising."

“Is he now?” Sirius asks, winking at James. “Is that what you call what you’ve been doing? Is that your kink, Evans?”

James snorts into his cookie, unable to help himself, and ends up choking. 

Sirius wacks him on the back until he stops coughing.

"I know yours, Black, since you'd already gone in the bathroom once to touch up the foundation on your neck."

“I have no shame,” Sirius says, looking like he truly doesn’t. He leans against the counter, looking at James. “Nice scarf, by the way.”

“Thanks,” James says, unraveling it. “It’s actually hers, but I happen to think it’s more my color.”

“You could have kept it. I was thinking about coming by after work anyway to -” Lily’s eyes cut over to Sirius. A beat later, they go back to James. “Do you have a minute for me to ask you about something?”

Sirius, occasionally tactful, takes the hint. He pushes himself up from the counter and salutes, going back into the kitchen. “No PDA in front of the customers, Evans!” he calls a little less tactfully as they hear one of the ovens open. 

“What’s up?” James asks once he’s certain they’re alone.

“Do you have plans on Christmas Eve?”

James shakes his head, smiling. “Not a single one.”

Lily tangles her fingers in the strap of her apron and twists it worriedly. "Would you want to come to Christmas Eve dinner? At my parents' house?"

She’s _nervous,_ James realizes. She’s nervous about asking him and worried that he’ll say no. 

She’s so cute he can’t handle it. 

They spent an entire weekend together. He’d follow her into Holly Jolly Hell if she asked him. 

“I’d love to,” he says. “What time?”

“Really?” She lets out a breath that can’t be anything but relief. Her hand drops from her apron, and her face brightens into a wide smile. “Dinner’s at three, but you can come by earlier. Whenever you want, really. You could bring those sweet potatoes you were telling me about.”

“Alright,” he agrees. “Sounds perfect. Anything I should know before I come over? Topics to avoid? Does your dad have a sports team he hates that I also should?”

“My sister and her annoying new husband are going to be there, but I don’t even care. _You’re_ going to be there.” She tilts her head to the side, considering, but her smile doesn’t fall. “Sports talk will endear you to my dad. My mom’s going to be thrilled, so don’t get too scared if she’s moving really fast. Christmas Eve dinner is… kind of a big deal in my family.” 

“Big deal? Like I should dress up kind of a big deal?”

"No, a sweater is fine. Big deal like…" Lily twists her hair around her finger, so much like his finger was in her hair this weekend. "Like you're the first boy I'm bringing. The first boy like you. I brought Sirius back in high school when his family was being awful, but you're the first boy who…"

“Oh,” James says. He realizes the full meaning behind her words a second later. _“Oh!_ I’m the first boy you’ve ever brought home for Christmas?”

Lily nods, her fingers more tightly wound in the ends of her hair. "The first. If it's too soon or you don't want to -"

“No, no! I want to! It’s definitely not too soon. Nothing about you feels too soon.”

"So you'll come?"

“Of course,” he says. “If you want me there, I’ll be there.”

"I want you there. I really, really want you there."

An oven door closes more loudly than necessary a second before Sirius is looking through the window at them. "I need to conquer these cinnamon rolls, Evans, so I need my fuel."

Lily rolls her eyes and takes a drink from the carrier, turning to give it to him. "See what you've done to us, Potter?"

“We’re monsters,” Sirius adds, clinking his cup against Lily’s. 

“Good thing I’m quite fond of monsters,” James says. “I better get going, though, or Remus will wonder where I’ve gone to. I think he’s less likely to fuss at me today though.” 

"You're welcome," Sirius replies with a smirk. "Is that good for another round of these later?"

“Most likely,” James says. “Don’t drag him into a closet or anything. I’m actually awful at making coffee. I can’t be left unattended on that front.”

"You're not going into a closet today, Black," Lily says. "At least not until after your shift. You need to be in the kitchen baking for the inevitable pre-Christmas Eve sweets rush."

"I'll stay decent until then," Sirius says with a sigh. "Only for you, Evans."

“I’ll tell Remus you said hello then,” James says with a laugh. To Lily he asks, “See you at lunch?”

With a quick glance to the door, she leans over the counter and kisses him briefly. In a flash, almost as quickly as she moved to kiss him, she's back on her feet and looking the part of the Christmas village bakery counter girl. 

"Hey!" Sirius protests.

"I'll see you at lunch," she confirms. "Enjoy the cookies."

James leaves the bakery with the feeling of Christmas cheer on his lips.


	4. Fall

_And this year I will fall, with no worries at all._

\--

Christmas always makes Lily feel a lot of things.

Excitement. Joy. Wonder.

Nervousness.

Well, that one is a little new. She doesn't quite know what to do with it.

All day, Lily has checked and rechecked the house. The wreath on the door is just so. The tree is lit. The nativities have all of their cast members. All the shoes are put away, and she's dusted more times in the last hour than she has in the past year.

"If only you helped me clean like this when you were sixteen," her mother says, pulling a ham out of the oven. "It wouldn't have looked like we had two teenage girls on the warpath." 

"Put it on the Christmas pot holder, Mom!" Lily scolds, swapping it out before her mother can use a Thanksgiving one, of all things. "Everything has to match."

"It's going to be fine," her mother says, moving right along to putting the rolls in to get warm.

"But it has to be perfect."

"Or what, Lily?" Petunia says, stepping off the bottom stair. She's wearing a soft cream sweater that Lily knows belongs in _her_ closet.

She can't fight with Petunia. She can't fight with Petunia. She can't fight with -

"Or it will look silly, Tuney."

Petunia raises her brow and meaningfully looks Lily up and down while their mother's back is turned.

Lily thinks she looks _nice_ , actually. She has her hair down in soft waves and a dark green sweater that usually earns her compliments about her eyes. The judgement from Petunia, she decides, is probably because Lily is wearing a flowery apron over everything. There are still a few finishing touches on the cookies to be done.

"I'd already have this done if you bothered to help," Lily replies.

"I was -"

"Girls," their mother says. "Don't bicker. It's Christmas Eve! Your father -"

"What will your father do?" A voice comes in with a whoosh of the sliding door. "I shoveled off some of the back porch. We can throw reindeer food like we did when you were kids."

"Dad,” Petunia says, “we might be a little old for -"

"That's perfect, Dad." Lily smiles at him as she steps forward to brush some snow from his shoulders. "Thanks."

Petunia rolls her eyes, but her expression changes in a second when the doorbell rings. "I bet that's Vernon," she says, checking her hair in the foyer mirror. She reaches for the door handle and opens it. "Darling, you're off a little early, but -"

Petunia freezes in place.

Lily spins to face the door. 

It's not Vernon. Her mother might still be trying to use the wrong potholder, but Lily doesn't even notice. She only has eyes for the boy in the door, feeling herself smile while her heart thumps like a racehorse running toward victory. 

"Merry Christmas, James."

James is standing there in her door frame, wearing an absolutely garish reindeer sweater. 

Lily thinks she might love him. 

“I’m not too early, am I?” he asks.

That's the same thing she was just thinking about her own emotions.

She takes a step forward. It's unfair that her sister is closer to James than she is. That has to be fixed immediately. 

"No. You're perfect,” Lily says, taking his hand to pull him inside. “Come in." 

Petunia scoffs and flounces away from the door. 

“Oh dear,” James whispers, leaning down so only she can hear him. “Seems she already doesn’t like me.”

Lily kisses his cheek so Petunia won't know they're whispering.

And because she wants to.

"You should meet Mom and Dad," Lily says, taking his coat and hanging it on a peg. "They’re going to love you."

"Lily Evans, are you talking about your mother?" she hears her answer from the other room, confirming that she's been listening.

"This way." Lily weaves her fingers through his and tugs him toward the kitchen.

Lily isn’t sure whether it’s the oven or the boy holding her hand that makes her feel warm when they move to where her mother is working on the finishing touches on dinner. 

“Is this James?”her mother instantly gushes, wiping her hands off on her apron to come around and give James a hug. Lily watches as he melts into it easily. 

In the back of her mind, she wonders how long it’s been since he’s had a mother hug him. 

This Christmas Eve has to be perfect for him.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Evans,” James says. He’s the picture of politeness. The absolute perfect boyfriend... Assuming that’s what they are. 

They haven’t really discussed it, but Lily tries to see the best in things. 

Especially James.

"James," her father says from the other side of the kitchen. He's doing his part by organizing her mother's creations as they finish cooking. He’s long mastered the art of getting everything to fit on one table. "You're not going to break my daughter's heart, are you?"

"Dad!"

James laughs at this, at ease with everything, apparently. “No, sir,” he says. “I’m planning on taking good care of it.” 

“He’s so cute,” Lily’s mom squeals, linking her arm through James’ and placing a hand on her hip. “Henry! Look at how cute he is! Lily, why didn’t you warn me?”

She catches her father smiling.

Is it wrong to be proud of how good he is with them? 

No, she tells herself, keeping the hand that her mother hasn't claimed linked to hers. "I told you lots about him, Mom," Lily says. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

“You can set the table,” her mother says, still looking at James. “Petunia has decided to sit by the window and wait for Vernon like a princess.” 

“He’s my husband!” Petunia cries from her perch. “He had to work late on Christmas Eve! I want to make sure he’s okay. The roads are still a bit icy.” 

Lily and her dad share an eye roll. 

Thankfully, her mother doesn’t catch on. 

"Here are the napkins, James." 

Lily takes the silverware and shows him into the dining room.

She wonders if her mother is trying to be clever by sending them where they can be just alone enough for her to listen in on what they say to each other.

Lily is related to her, so that's probably what happened. 

"If you get overwhelmed, let me know," Lily says as she sets a fork next to each plate. "We can have a signal or something."

“I’m fine, Lily,” James says, following along with her. “Really. It’s sort of nice. Being with a family at Christmas.”

"They're so much." Lily moves onto knives for the next round. "Does your offer for Christmas dinner still stand? We can do something for just us tomorrow."

“Of course. I’d love to do something together. I was sort of just going to sit around with Purr, so you coming over sounds less depressing.”

"You aren't spending Christmas alone." Their hands touch when they go to place different things at the same setting. Lily takes the chance to squeeze his fingers and look back toward the kitchen. "I'm going to see if Mom needs any help."

In the other room, her parents have managed to arrange everything into organized chaos. Their kitchen always appears twice its size on this day. Her dad shoves the rolls in her hand to put in the center of the table.

From the front room, Petunia squeals.

Lily uses her task with the rolls as a way to hide her expression. 

“He’s here!” Petunia calls, as if she hasn’t already alerted the entire neighborhood with the high pitched sound she made. “Mommy, he’s here! We can start!”

“Julia…” Lily hears her father huff. 

“Hush, Henry,” she chides as Lily moves back into the dining room. “Play nice.” 

James is standing by the window, looking out at the driveway where Petunia is fawning over her new husband. He looks greatly amused when Lily comes to stand next to him.

“Vernon is here,” he repeats. He snorts a moment later. “Look at that car! Can you imagine driving that thing around?”

"I can't imagine wanting to do anything Vernon Dursley does," Lily says darkly. Her hand finds his. "But I'll try to be good."

James smiles down at her. “That doesn’t sound like fun.”

"It's not, trust me. I don't want to ruin Christmas Eve, though."

The door opens and Vernon's booming laugh reaches them. Without knowing her plan, Lily goes toward the front, James' hand still clasped in hers. 

She's a little too aware of how this may look to Vernon. She's known James for a few weeks. They first kissed and spent the weekend together at the same time. They haven't had the official conversation where they did that they are a _they_ , even if that part feels inevitable.

James doesn't let go of her hand.

"Vernon," her mother says, a practiced smile in place, "you should meet James. Lily brought him this year."

"Oh?" he says, looking James up and down quickly. Lily catches the brief look he shares with her sister. 

James doesn’t seem put off by it, extending his hand to Vernon. 

“James Potter,” he says. “Nice to meet you.” 

“Yes,” Vernon grumbles. Lily is surprised James doesn’t flinch with how hard Vernon is gripping his hand. “You’re Lily’s boyfriend then?” 

James looks at Lily with amused eyes. 

“I don’t know. We haven’t actually talked about that just yet,” he admits. “Go out with me, Evans?”

Her eyes widen at the same time as Vernon’s. 

“Obviously,” Lily replies, aiming for something breezy.

The quirk of his lips that could be interpreted as a grin or a smirk reminds her to relax. James is on her side. In a few minutes, he’s already charmed her parents more than the boy who is their official son-in-law.

She doesn’t have to spend the whole dinner being guarded. 

Her dad laughs, clapping his hands together once. “Well, if that’s settled.” 

“Dinner, everyone?” her mom asks. “Petunia, close your mouth. You’ll catch flies like that.” 

Lily’s head whips around in time to watch Petunia snap her mouth shut. She’s looking at James like she can’t quite believe that he’s real. That she can’t believe he asked Lily out so nonchalantly in front of everyone. 

Petunia requires a spectacle too but not to this degree. She would never have been happy with being asked out in such a way.

Her eyes slide over to Lily and narrow, her disapproval apparent. 

“Dinner looks great, Mom,” Lily says, putting her other hand over James’ too. Ignoring Petunia might be the best way to show off. “Let’s sit over here, James.” 

Her parents watch her lead James to their seats, but there’s a noticeable sparkle in their eyes. 

“I’m starving,” James says. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”

“My company provided a big Christmas lunch,” Vernon cuts in. “So I’m not too hungry myself.”

“Vernon’s company is doing very well,” Petunia adds, looking to James. “He helped them get a big new account, didn’t you, dear? He’s probably the next in line for a big promotion in the new year. Where are you working, James?”

“I told you, Tuney,” Lily says, fiddling with her fork. “He works at the coffee counter in the bookstore next to the bakery.”

“A coffee shop?” Vernon asks.

“We’re both still in school,” Lily says, a little defensive. 

“Working in a coffee shop this time of year has to be hard work,” Lily’s mom says. “Everyone out shopping. They’re always buying coffee.”

“It’s definitely busy,” James says, “but I don’t mind it. Plus, it has its perks. Being next to the bakery being one of them. Lily and I wouldn’t have met otherwise.”

“Are you planning on sticking with the coffee shop after the holidays?” Vernon asks. “Or will you choose to focus on other things?” 

Lily supposes this is the nicest way for Vernon to ask if James is going to be unemployed. She clenches her fork. 

“I’m not sure,” James admits. “I don’t technically _have_ to work if I don’t want to, but I enjoy working at the shop. I’ll probably stay on if they have room for me.” 

“How do you not have to work?” Petunia asks, her tone snippish. “Everyone has to work.”

“Well, my dad founded Sleekeazy’s. When he died, he left everything to me,” James says, his cheeks a bit pink. “He wanted to make sure I was set if anything ever happened to him, and, well, I sort of am.” 

“Your dad owned Sleekeazy’s?”Petunia screeches, dropping her fork.

James smiles. “He did.”

Lily drops her fork at the same time, as shocked as Petunia is at the news. In all of their conversations, in all of their talk about feelings and vulnerabilities, they haven’t discussed money. She assumed his parents left him the house, since he was still living there, but she didn’t know anything beyond that. They hadn’t discussed how James’ parents’ deaths impacted him beyond the emotional level.

Who knew the barista next door is sitting on what has to be a fortune? 

“Well, that’s nice for you, Lily,” Vernon says, chuckling. 

Her eyes narrow at him.

“What does that mean?”

“That little bakery can’t be paying you well,” he explains. “You’re spending all day decorating cookies while other people, like myself, are making million dollar deals.”

“I’m not relying on James for money,” Lily says, offended. “Is that what you’re implying?”

“Don’t be so touchy, Lily,” Petunia says, helping herself to some of the food from the middle of the table. “Vernon’s just talking.” 

“Lily’s not relying on me for money,” James cuts in. “She didn’t even know about it.”

“You didn’t know that your boyfriend is rich?” Petunia repeats, eyes wide. “Lily! What do you know about him? How did that never come up?”

“Petunia,” her mother chides. “Money isn’t everything.”

“We didn’t talk about bank accounts on our first date. We talked about real things! We got to know each other, not the stuff we have.”

“And look at you,” her mother says, pushing the basket of rolls toward Lily. “It’s like you’ve known each other for years.” 

“Oh, you ‘got to know each other.’ You ‘talked,’” Petunia scoffs. Her fingers form jerky air quotes. “At his house. Alone. All weekend.”

“Petunia!”

“What? I’m not _stupid,_ Lily,” Petunia hisses. “You just met this boy and didn’t come home for two straight days! You were doing a whole lot more than talking. Maybe if you actually did take the time to get to know him first, you would have known your boyfriend is rich.”

Lily and her dad are wearing matching furious expressions. Lily’s is for Petunia’s harsh words about her and James. Her dad’s is most likely over such blatant talk of Lily spending the night at a boy’s house. 

It isn’t as if he didn’t _know._

Still, he likely preferred for that bit of information not to be discussed over Christmas Eve dinner. 

“Lily stayed at my house because we got snowed in,” James says, rationalizing everything, which is something Petunia would never do for her. “She stayed with me because it was safest. The roads were slick and dangerous. The topic of how much money I inherited after my parents died never came up because it wasn’t important. Lily didn’t care about that. She cared about the boy she found in the grocery store who was helplessly lost. She cared about the boy missing his mother’s lemon cookies. She cared about _me_ because she’s a good person.”

Lily swallows against a flood of emotion forming in her throat. 

Her father’s expression softens as James’ words set in. “She’s been like that since she was a kid. Always taking care of her friends and inviting them over when they needed someone. Don’t you remember everything she did for Sirius?” He looks to his youngest daughter, reaching over to put a hand over hers. “You are a good person, Lily.”

“And we trust her,” their mother says. “She’s an adult who can make her own decisions about who she spends time with and for how long. If she wants to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, I have to trust her.”

“I know what matters about James,” Lily says, gaining confidence from her parents’ words. “I know what kind of person he is. I know that he cares about me.”

“I do care about you. A lot.” James says the words sincerely and as if they’re not enough. As if what she means to him can’t be summed up in simple words. He turns toward her parents. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start an argument.” 

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” her mother says, beaming. “You didn’t start a thing. It would hardly be a Christmas dinner without the girls fighting.”

“They’ve been doing that since they were kids too,” her father adds. “Will you pass the potatoes?”

Lily half-heartedly nudges the basket of rolls to Petunia.

Life with her sister often feels like a trap door that is waiting to open underneath her. One minute their conversation will be about one thing, and in the next, it will change subjects entirely. She has to be alert, has to be ready for whatever Petunia is going to throw her way.

James makes some of that feeling ease.

“It’s okay,” Lily says quietly, leaning her shoulder against his and letting their knees touch under the table. “I’m okay.” 

“Are you sure?” he asks just as quietly. 

Conversation is starting to pick back up around them. Buzzing and chattering starts as the tensions settle. It’s like this every year. She and Petunia argue. Then they don’t. It’s exhausting, but it’s a version of normal at her house.

Petunia hands Lily an olive branch by passing a casserole.

"I'm sure," she says. Lily takes a scoop and passes it along to James. "Still glad you came?"

“Of course.” She can tell he means it. “As long as I’m with you, I’m happy.”

The rest of dinner, after everything else, is relatively uneventful. 

She gets to hold his hand in the living room, where his thumb brushes her knuckles and she discovers that he’s got a few calluses gracing his fingers. They sit by the Christmas tree and watch the lights blink. Petunia makes a show over how her tree is decorated with more of a theme than their parents’ tree, which holds all of their crafted ornaments from elementary school. James hides his smirk at this against her temple as he kisses her. 

Then the hour is getting late, and he'll have to leave at some point. She keeps pushing it a minute later like that means it won't come.

"Did the Evans family Christmas Eve live up to your expectations?"

“It was even better,” he says. “Thank you so much for inviting me. It really means a lot.”

"I wanted you to come. I'm glad you did." 

Her parents are sitting close together on the couch. It's probably to give her some level of privacy, since Petunia left with Vernon about twenty minutes ago.

They've been great but asking for her new boyfriend to stay the night on Christmas Eve might be too much.

"Are you sure you want me to come tomorrow? I get it if you want to do your own thing." 

“Of course,” he says. “My own thing involves sitting around with Purr and watching Christmas movies. I’d much rather see you.”

"Cuddling in front of Christmas movies sounds perfect. I'll bring a present for Sirr Purr too."

“You really don’t have to. He’s already spoiled enough as it is.”

"A good Christmas has a bit of spoiling," Lily says. "I'll bring something for you too."

“Hmm,” he hums happily, lifting her hand to his lips. “You’ve been more than enough for me. I don’t deserve anything else.”

His mouth and the spark it causes against her skin are warmer than the fire her parents started. "You're going to give me an ego as big as Vernon's," she says. "Then I'll be insufferable and you won't want to spend another Christmas with me."

She swallows. Is a few days into this relationship too early to even mention future plans, even if it's part of teasing?

James laughs. “Not possible. You’re too good of a person to get a head that big, but even if you did… What’s the saying? In sickness and in gigantic egos?”

"Something like that," she murmurs. "I'll bring extra wet food so Sirr Purr is always on my side."

Her parents' soft conversation reaches them, reminding her that she's still standing by the door and no closer to being ready for James to say goodbye. 

It's less than a day until she sees him again.

Surely she isn't that pathetic.

“I’ll miss you,” he says, not sounding the least bit pathetic when he does. If she said it first she knows she would have. 

"I'll miss you too," Lily admits, empowered by his first move.

“Maybe you can spend the night tomorrow? Without the threat of snow? If you want, that is.”

She doesn't have to think about her answer.

"Yes."

So maybe she is that pathetic.

"I'd love to stay,” Lily continues. “Even if it's bright and sunny with no chance of snow. I'll pack a bag this time to make it official."

“Sounds great,” he says, leaning down to kiss her once. Then twice. Then once more. He pulls away, looking pained. “Is it bad that it’s this hard to say goodnight so early? I mean, I _did_ just officially ask you out today.”

"If it's bad, we're both guilty. How are we going to handle the end of winter break?" Lily shakes her head, not letting herself think that far ahead right now. "You should go. Get warm and spend some time with your kitty. Plus, my parents always told me that Santa won’t come if I’m not in bed on Christmas Eve. You don't want to miss him."

“We can’t have that,” he says. James bends down, kissing her once more and letting his lips linger just above hers. “Happy Christmas, Lily.”

Telling herself she only has to wait until tomorrow, Lily lets go of his hands. Tomorrow, she can kiss him without her parents a short distance away.

She stops herself from saying the impulsive set of words that comes to mind and says three safer words instead.

"Merry Christmas, James."

\--

James wakes up early on Christmas morning. 

For a second, he forgets everything. His mother and father are still alive, and he’s still a spoiled excuse for a child who will have far more underneath the tree than is warranted for a person in their twenties. He will eat his mother’s Christmas tree pancakes and listen to his father’s favorite radio programs with him. 

He will be an overgrown kid on Christmas, just like always. 

Then his eyes begin to adjust to the early morning darkness, and his mind catches up with him. He doesn’t hear the sound of Christmas carols being played at an ungodly volume. 

It’s his first Christmas without his parents. 

The familiar sting of remembering settles over him. He aches with it. It’s particularly heavy this morning and keeps him bound to the bed for a few moments longer. 

But, he suspects, this is okay. A first Christmas without one's parents is bound to warrant a bit of melancholy. It’s better to feel his way through it than to ignore it. 

This is what Remus would tell him, at least. 

His phone buzzes from next to him, and he squints at the time before opening the message. 

Six in the morning. 

He groans. Then he checks the name of who texted him and switches to grinning like an idiot. 

_Lily: Happy Christmas! Can’t wait to see you later!_

The sting gives way to something else. Something that only happens when he thinks of Lily. It’s warm and settles throughout his body until he feels content. Happy. He’d ask his mom what she thought it could be, if he had the chance. 

Euphemia would have loved Lily, he thinks. 

It doesn’t hurt as much this time when he thinks of his mother. 

Stretching, James works his way out of bed and down the stairs into the kitchen where Sir Purr is yowling for his Christmas breakfast. 

“Okay, okay,” James says, yawning. He goes to the stocking Lily set out for his cat and pulls out the wet food tin. “Looks like someone was a good kitty this year.”

The cat purrs in agreement, slinking around James’ ankles as he pops the top off and sets the food on the ground. James watches with a bit of disgust as Sir Purr eats from it like he’s feral and has been starved for days. 

“I taught you better manners than this,” James grumbles. 

Sir Purr ignores him, and James moves to the pantry to fish out the pancake mix. Half an hour and several burnt pancakes later, James has a poor excuse for a Christmas tree pancake with a crispy star on top. 

His mother could do better, since she _has_ done better, but he still finds himself being stupidly proud. 

The rest of the day passes slowly. Remus calls to check on him. _Really_ check on him. James feels like he’s trying to get off the phone with a worrying mother for the duration of the call. He has to assure Remus several times that _yes,_ he’s fine. Yes, he’s sure. No, he doesn’t need anything. No, he isn’t lying. And, please, for the love of all things good, Remus, just go and enjoy the holiday. 

James is fairly sure he’s on speaker phone when he hears Sirius’ bark like laugh in the background when he hangs up. 

When the time comes to finally prepare for dinner, James is itching with pent up energy. Lily is coming, and she’s spending the night. On Christmas. Everything has to be perfect. Which would be obtainable if he were actually a decent cook. 

Something is smoking in the kitchen twenty minutes into starting. He isn't sure what exactly, which is posing a problem. Lily is supposed to be here soon, and how pathetic would it look if he burnt the house down trying to cook her dinner. 

“Shit, shit, shit!”

“Are you okay?”

For the second time, James finds himself nearly shrieking at the voice behind the question. He turns to find Lily standing there, scarf in her hand, having apparently been unwrapping it before stopping short when she came into the kitchen and saw the state of it.

She is amused again. Like she had been at the grocery store. 

James can’t blame her. He’s standing in an apron, and he’s pretty certain his hair is sticking straight up from tugging on it so much.

“Um, no,” he says, looking at her for help. “I’m fairly sure something is on fire, but I don’t know what. I don’t want to die on Christmas.”

“As someone who has almost set a few kitchen fires myself,” Lily says, crossing the room to him. “First thing is to turn off the stove.” She reaches over and clicks off the knob. 

When the smoke doesn’t immediately disappear, James begins to panic. Lily, though, opens the oven. That’s when James realizes that he’s forgotten about the rolls he left in and was supposed to take out ten minutes ago. 

They’re completely black when Lily pulls them out with an oven mitt. 

“Well,” he says. “This is a disaster.” 

"This is not a disaster. But we do need carbs for a complete dinner," Lily says, putting the blackened rolls on top of the oven. "I brought cookies, if those count. What else did you make?"

“I managed to roast the turkey without killing it a second time. We’ve got that going for us, at least.”

“That’s something.”

He sighs and then shakes his head, smiling at her. He’s missed her more than should be allowed for a day old relationship. He doesn’t care if that makes him pathetic.

He is absolutely smitten with her.

“Hi,” he says, bending down to kiss her. Once isn’t enough, so he does it again. “You look beautiful. Like a Christmas elf.”

"Hi." She grins and shines brighter than the Christmas tree he finally put up in the hall. "I brought Christmas pajamas too." Lily shrugs her shoulder, where a backpack hangs by one strap.

“Perfect.” 

With Lily’s help, dinner is mostly salvaged. They’ve got enough for it to be classified as a meal. They eat at the table together, chatting and joking like they’ve done so their whole lives. Lily doesn’t even comment on Sir Purr sitting at the table like a person, occasionally blinking at them in disdain for not sharing their turkey. 

James is thankful for this. He’s let his cat slide into odd behaviors since his parents’ passing. 

“What do you suppose Petunia is doing right now?” James asks, taking another bite of his potatoes. 

“It’s her first Christmas as a newlywed,” Lily says, poking her potatoes instead of eating them at the mention of her sister. “So she might be doing pretty much the same thing we are, now that you mention it. Can you see her and Vernon having dinner like this?”

“Not unless it was catered. He’s a funny guy, Vernon. I enjoy watching him react to things. Each scoff is more pronounced than the last.”

"He's so disapproving. Like he has the right idea about everything and everyone else is too stupid to realize it." She plucks a sliver of turkey from her plate and offers it to the cat. “I like dinner like this. You and me and the good Sir. It’s nice.”

James watches as his cat takes the turkey with a loud purring sound. Lily is working her way into being his favorite, but James can’t seem to mind. 

“I’m enjoying this too,” James says. “Just the two of us. Well, three with this lump. Thank you. Again.” 

_Thank you for making sure I’m not alone. Thank you for choosing me._

"We make a good trio." Lily smiles, almost to herself, and looks over at him. "Thanks for inviting me. For wanting to spend it with me. I've never had a Christmas like this. It makes me feel more like an adult than I ever have. Is that weird?"

James shakes his head. “Not at all. I’ve felt like that for the last few months.”

"You don't always have to be an adult with me." Quickly, she reaches across the table to take his hand. Her fingers fit with his, her thumb running over his knuckles. "I'm here, you know. I want to be here for you. I can't know what it's like or fix it, but… I'm here. Whenever you need. Whatever you need."

“I know,” he says, and he does. He smiles. “Being you is enough, honestly. I’m… I’m so glad I took the job at the coffee shop. I can’t imagine not knowing you.”

“Me neither. You’re my favorite Christmas present.” Lily makes a face, and, like so much she does, it makes him want to kiss her. “Is that horribly cheesy?”

“If it is, then I’m cheesy too.”

"It's not so bad if we both are," Lily says. She leans over to kiss him, her hand lingering on his arm. When she pulls away, there's a decided air of mischief in her expression. "Do you want your present?"

His eyes light up. He tries to reign in his enthusiasm so he doesn’t come off as a spoiled child, but he hadn’t really been expecting anything other than Lily today. As usual, Lily is full of surprises. 

“Of course,” he says. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

"It should be here soon," Lily answers cryptically. She grabs her phone from the table and taps in a message.

A few seconds later, the doorbell rings.

"You should get that," Lily says, grinning.

James gives her a curious look but does as he’s told. He imagines that this will be how his relationship with Lily will go. He’s better off listening to her and getting on with it. She is the one who is wise with all things Christmas spirit. 

He isn’t sure what he’s expecting when he opens the door, but it certainly isn’t the group of people on the other side. Sirius, Remus, Mary, Benjy, and even Marlene, along with her girlfriend, are standing in a wide variety of ugly Christmas sweaters and elf hats. They look like Christmas has thrown up all over them and grin back at his shocked expression.

“What’s this?” James asks, eyes wide. “Are you guys out caroling?”

"I have cookies!" Lily calls from behind him and over his shoulder. "Would you like some?"

"About a dozen," Sirius answers, stepping into James' house without a formal welcome. He sniffs the air. "You didn't let Evans cook, did you?"

"Definitely not," Mary says. "The house is still standing."

"Hey!" Lily protests. "I'm not that bad!"

"Tenth grade home ec," Mary answers wisely. 

"I remember," Benjy says with a dramatic shiver.

“What is going on?” James asks, following everyone into the sitting room where they’re making themselves comfortable. 

“Lily invited us over for Christmas,” Remus explains. 

“We all heard it was going to be your first one alone and thought it was entirely too tragic,” Sirius says, his tone betraying that he actually finds it all amusing. 

"And," Mary adds, "Black wanted an excuse to avoid his parents on Christmas anyway."

Lily tugs on James' hand so he sits next to her on the couch. "You deserve to have people who love you with you on Christmas."

"You're such a sap, Evans," Sirius says, propping his feet on the coffee table. 

James looks over at Lily and isn’t quite sure what to say. What could he possibly tell her that would express his gratitude in this moment? There simply aren’t enough words. He had been so worried over spending the Christmas season alone, and now here he sits, surrounded by people on Christmas night. 

People who care for him. 

Lily most of all. 

“Thank you,” he says anyway. He knows they fail, these two words. His house is full of noise and life and Lily has done so much for him. “You’re seriously - you’re amazing. I can’t tell you that enough. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me.”

"It's Christmas," Lily says as if no further explanation is needed. "I had to do something special."

"I know it's not the coffee shop," Sirius says, "but can you still work some cocoa magic?"

Remus nudges Sirius' side like he knows his boyfriend - if that's what they also are now - is interrupting something.

"Yes," Benjy agrees. "You have to try some of his cocoa, babe. It's actual magic." He puts an arm over Mary's shoulders. 

James laughs. It comes so easily. 

“It’s alright,” he says, standing. “I really don’t mind. What’s Christmas without hot chocolate, after all?”

“Depressing,” Sirius answers. “That’s what it is.” 

“Want to help?” James asks, extending a hand to Lily.

"Of course." Lily takes his hand and actually tugs on it to help her get up from the couch. When it makes him take a step toward her, he sees the way her lips quirk as she puts a hand on his side.

Sirius laughs. "Careful, Evans."

"We should make a tradition," Marlene suggests. "Those always make Christmas more fun."

The group dissolves into excited chatter, which gives Lily and James the perfect moment to slip out and into the kitchen. Lily grabs the containers of icing she brought and sits them next to the box of cookies. 

"I don't know how much help I can be," she says, standing next to him along the counter. "I guess I could play waitress for the drinks."

James grabs her by the elbow, spinning her to face him. He takes a moment to smirk at the surprised look on her face before leaning down to kiss her. 

It doesn’t take her long to respond; it never does. She encircles her hands around his neck and stands on the tips of her toes, deepening the kiss. Lily tastes like candy canes and chocolate and everything Christmas should be. 

She’s his own personal Christmas miracle. 

With a content hum, she breaks away from the kiss. Her arms stay around him, holding her close and keeping their lips mere inches apart. She stays on her toes, so relies on him to stay steady with her body pressed against him. 

Her cheeks are a little flushed, but she’s smiling. 

“What was that?” she asks in a hushed tone. “Not that I’m complaining.” 

“It’s the only proper way I can think of to thank you,” James admits. “Plus, selfishly, I really wanted to do it. I still can’t believe everything you’ve done for me. Some random boy at a coffee shop.”

"You're more than that," Lily answers, fingers idly playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Besides, I'm just the girl who works at the bakery next door."

“And you’re far more than that,” James counters, using her own words against her. He leans into her touch. “Care to make our own Christmas tradition?”

"You know I love Christmas traditions. What do you propose?" 

“Every year we set out my mother’s old Christmas village, and every year the coffee shop and the bakery get placed side by side. The boy from the coffee shop and the girl from the bakery are together. I couldn’t stand to see them apart. It’s where they belong.”

Lily moves so her nose brushes against his. "Every year? You're not going to go back to school and forget about the girl from the bakery?"

“Impossible,” he says, nuzzling her nose back with his own. “That would never happen.”

"You'll text me every day? Even when the Christmas magic wears off?"

“Every single day. Unless you’re spending the night here, of course.”

She laughs lightly, which is its own kind of present. "Whenever I can. We'll be one of those obnoxious long distance couples who visit so often our friends are sick of it, won't we?"

“Probably, but they’ll get over it,” James says, shrugging. From the sitting room a chorus of laughter explodes. “Though, we may not be the only ones.”

"Probably not," Lily agrees. "If I'm willing to ride on the back of his bike, I can probably always get a lift from Sirius."

James laughs. “That’s something I’d love to see. Something I’d love to try too. Do you think he’ll take me for a ride?”

"Definitely. He got it when we were seventeen and has been trying to convince basically everyone to trust him with their lives since then."

“Excellent. I really like him,” James says, leaning down to kiss her once. Twice. Three times. “Not as much as I like you, of course.”

"We both might get a little jealous of your affections. But he has Remus to reassure him."

“Hey!” a voice calls from behind them. They turn to see Sirius himself standing there, elf hat slightly wonky. “What are you two love birds doing? We’ve started a game of charades and need two more players. You haven’t even started the hot chocolate!”

James laughs, starting to let go of Lily but not releasing her. She lowers herself so she’s on flat feet and not in such temptingly close kissing range.

An amused squeal comes from the other room.

“Alright, alright,” James says. “We’ll get to it.” 

“I’m dying in here,” Sirius whines. “My Christmas spirit is withering away.”

“It better not be,” Lily scolds, reaching past James without letting go to pull down a few mugs from the cabinets. “I don’t let Grinches come to my Christmas.”

“I need hot chocolate to survive,” Sirius replies. “And, you know, Remus might actually need it even more than me.”

“That is true. He practically inhales all things chocolate,” James says, turning to Sirius. “You may need to go make sure he’s conscious, considering how long he’s had to go without it.” 

Sirius salutes him, eyes bright, and yelling something along the lines of needing to resuscitate his boyfriend. 

“Remus is going to kill me,” James says, laughing. “Or else he’s going to be really pleased.”

“Outwardly exasperated but inwardly glad is my guess,” Lily says. Her hip bumps his while she stands next to him at the counter. She slides a mug toward him. “Are you going to show me some of your cocoa secrets?”

“Evans, for you,” he says, filling her mug up. It’s got a doe on it. “I’d do anything.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find us on Tumblr @alrightginger and @women-inthe-sequel and on our shared Tumblr @gingerinthesequel.


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